Geoff Pierson: Jack Malloy

Quotes 

• Jack Malloy : Ryan, hurry up! Your sister needs that painting to go to school!

  Ryan Malloy : [down in the basement]  Uh-oh, they didn't forget I was down here as I hoped. I know. I'll save the day with a painting of my own, cover it, and fail to believe there will be any consequences.

  [a lot of buckets of paint just stand ready] 

  Ryan Malloy : Uh! Just like kindergarten. Except without the beatings!

• Mr. Floppy : You know, Jack, I know nobody's gonna agree with me, but I think Monica Lewinsky is kinda *hot!*

  Jack Malloy : Come on, Floppy, she's the Pillsbury Doughgirl.

  Mr. Floppy : Sure she's a chub, but... she looks so soft and inviting. She's cuddly, she's squeezable. *And* she brings the pizza! She's cute.

  Jack Malloy : [dismissive gesture]  Nah!

  Mr. Floppy : [campy voice]  Come on, Jack, admit it. You think she's cute.

  Jack Malloy : Well... all right, all right! Yeah, I do.

  Mr. Floppy : [got what he wanted]  Sucker! Jack and Monica, sitting in a tree! E-A-T-I-N-G! Crack goes the branch, and down they go! Thank God they landed on Sheryl Crow!