Unhappily Ever After (TV Series)
Teacher's Pet (1998)
Deborah Kellner: Muffy
Quotes
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[first lines]
Tiffany Malloy : Hey, Muffy. Did you get back your career aptitude test?
Muffy : [scoffs] Please, I'm not gonna have a career, I'm gonna have a husband. Jobs are for guys who wanna have this.
[points down at her svelte body]
Muffy : So, what school did you get assigned to?
Tiffany Malloy : Well, I decided to perform a little experiment, so I took the test *twice*, once claiming to be male, and once claiming to be female.
Muffy : And?
Tiffany Malloy : Well, the test results for the male me said I should be President of the United States.
[Muffy snickers]
Tiffany Malloy : And the test results for the female me says I have to be a nurse.
Muffy : Oh, you're lucky! Nurses get to marry doctors. And you can't put a price tag on a man who writes a prescription.
Tiffany Malloy : Oh, yeah, you can. The school doctor will write you a prescription for marijuana for your glaucoma for fifty bucks.
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Muffy : [to Tiffany, as Ryan enters] Oh, God, it's your brother, the goose-monster!