- Titus reminisces about his high school romantic experiences in an effort to help Amy through a breakup.
- Titus remembers his teenage years which were filled with zits, juvenile mustaches and awkward love encounters. Teenage years are hard to deal with. Titus rescues Amy from attempting suicide over being jilted by a lover named "Charlie". She was trying to swallow a lot of sleeping pills at once, when Titus walked in. Titus makes Amy spit the pills and finds out that Amy has a crush on Charlie. Titus reckons the only way to help Amy is to become teenager himself and then dig into his bag of teenage memories.
Titus tells Amy the story of how he fell in love with Erin and how Titus attempted suicide after Erin rejected him. Back in school, Erin was very hot and used to hang out with the jocks, while Titus was a nerdy, dorky nerd.
Titus makes an absolute ass of himself while asking Erin out for prom. First, Titus is too shy to even approach Erin. Tommy and Dave push Titus towards Erin. Erin was smoking and offers her cigarette to Titus. Titus smokes it, as he saw Erin's lipstick on the cigarette, and it was like kissing Erin. But then Titus coughs hard as he is not used to smoking. Titus manages to ask Erin out to prom, but then falls down coughing. And then he tries to lure her with his dad's hot rod convertible. Erin is turned on by hot rods (And Titus claims that he rebuilt the engine all by himself), but as she turns the ignition, the engine blows up and spews oil all over Erin's front dress. Ken had always taught Titus never to give up and not to take "no" for an answer.
Erin says that Titus has lied to her. Titus asks for a slow dance, but Erin rejects him. Titus returns to the present and tells Amy that had he given up then, he and Erin would have never ended up together. Amy understands and sends Titus out of her room. She bolts it from inside and prepares to hang herself. Titus reaches Amy through the window and continues his story.
Back to the prom, Titus fixes the car at his high school's auto shop. He then writes a suicide note. He wants to be cremated and his ashes sprinkled at the Indi 500. Titus several methods to kill himself but is so dumb that he fails every time. He tries to hang himself, electrocute himself to death, puts his head in a compressor wrench but nothing works.
But Ken comes in and yells at Titus for taking his car without permission. Ken talks to Titus that Erin is way out of his league. Ken calls Titus an idiot. Titus tries to kill himself again. He talks some sense into Titus by saying that if he kills himself, he will never get Erin and she will have sex with someone else. When Ken calls Titus a loser, he decides to cancel his plans to commit suicide.
Titus returns to the present, talking to Amy. Charlie (Riki Lindhome) comes by to meet Amy. Turns out Charlie is a girl. Amy is a lesbian. Titus tells Erin after a slow dance with her.
Contribute to this page
Suggest an edit or add missing content