- Chrissy Snow: [re Mr. Roper putting up drape] How's it coming?
- Stanley Roper: [hurt himself with pin] Got a band-aid?
- Chrissy Snow: Oh, did you hurt yourself?
- Helen Roper: Yeah, Stanley's been sticking himself with those drapery pins. I guess his eyes are beginning to go too.
- Chrissy Snow: What size of them do you need?
- Stanley Roper: You got one big enough to cover her mouth?
- [laughs at his own little joke, no one else does, and he tries the pin again]
- Stanley Roper: Ow, ow, ow! That went right through my thumb.
- Chrissy Snow: Lemme look at it. That's funny, you're not bleeding.
- Helen Roper: Well, like everything else about Stanley, it takes a while to get started.
- Janet Wood: [re that revealing red dress] Hey, Chrissy, uh, did you actually wear this dress at the office?
- Chrissy Snow: I sure did, and it really worked! I walked into that office just overflowing with confidence!
- [out the room]
- Janet Wood: Jack... You really did it this time.
- Jack Tripper: *I* did it?
- Janet Wood: Yes, you're the one who wanted her to wear a low-cut dress.
- Jack Tripper: Janet, I want *every* girl to wear a low-cut dress.
- Janet Wood: Jack, please, that is *not* the kind of dress you wear to office. It's the kind you wear to open-heart surgery!
- Jack Tripper: Well, that dress probably had nothing to do with her getting that promotion.
- Janet Wood: Oh, are you kidding?
- Jack Tripper: I'm not!
- Janet Wood: Oh, Jack, come on. I've heard how men are in offices.
- Jack Tripper: What are you talking about?