- Ralph Furley: [after overhearing a conversation between Jack and Larry, assuming that they had a romantic tryst the night before] Now hear this! I'm an easygoing guy! Live and let live, I always say! What's good for the goose is nobody else's business but the gander's! But sometimes you gotta draw the line! Call 'em as you see 'em! Stand up and be counted! The... buck... stops... here! Is that clear? Now, this wasn't easy for me to say... BUT YOU TWO HAD IT COMING!...
- [Grabs his toolbox from Jack's hands and storms out of the apartment]
- Ralph Furley: Well, Jack told me your bathroom faucet was leaking.
- Janet Wood: Oh, no, Mr. Furley. It's the kitchen faucet.
- Ralph Furley: Oh, well, that's just dandy. I bought the wrong washer. They're 12 cents apiece, you know.
- Jack Tripper: Hi, Mr. Furley.
- Ralph Furley: [Yelling at Jack] Washers don't grow on trees, you know.
- [Exits apartment]
- Jack Tripper: [Confused] What?