The Thick of It (TV Series)

Episode #2.1 (2005)

James Smith: Glenn Cullen

Quotes 

• Glenn Cullen : [about Ollie being seconded to Nr.10 for a week]  They only want him to make Cappucinos.

  Hugh Abbot : He does it very well. I think it's the way you waggle your finger so hard in the milk.

  Oliver Reeder : Yeah, you think it's my finger, bitch.

• Hugh Abbot : Sometimes I... you know, when you meet the real, the actual people... don't you, I mean, you just look at the little beady eyes and mean mouths sort of sneering, and... I mean, I know this is what they think people like me think so I hate thinking it, but I just find myself thinking they're from a different fucking species. You know, with their t-shirts and weird trousers and tabards and... Why do they wear clothes with writing on? And why are they so fucking fat?

  Glenn Cullen : I know. And stupid.

• Hugh Abbott : Have you, though?

  Glenn Cullen : What?

  Hugh Abbott : Ever cleaned up your own mother's piss?

  Glenn Cullen : No, I never knew my mother, Hugh, as you remember.

  Hugh Abbott : Oh, sorry. Have you ever cleaned up your stepmother's piss?

  Glenn Cullen : No, I never cleaned her piss, it wasn't that kind of relationship.

  Hugh Abbott : No, nor me. Though I have to say, I've done Alicia's piss, and then Charlie's piss, I mean, you know, loads of it. But, you know, it's only piss... I mean, she was going on as if it was sort of toxic waste or something. But it's... what's a bit of piss?

• [just before he leaves, Ollie slaps Glenn round the back of the head, to get him back for "happy-slapping" him before] 

  Glenn Cullen : Stupid boy.

  Hugh Abbot : That was funny.

  Glenn Cullen : That was funny?

  Hugh Abbot : Yeah.

  Glenn Cullen : I don't think it was funny.

  Hugh Abbot : I'm an elected representative of the people. It was funny.

• Hugh Abbot : [on a rooftop, talking to Glenn on the ground below over the phone]  Glenn? Is she still saying it?

  Glenn Cullen : Oh, God, yes.

  [to the angry Welsh woman who is still complaining to him] 

  Glenn Cullen : Would you please just give me a moment?

  [to Hugh] 

  Glenn Cullen : Yes, yes, she's banging on about it even now. The trouble is, Hugh, they reckon they've got some great shots, you know...

  Hugh Abbot : Great shots?

  Glenn Cullen : The thing is, don't panic, you know...

  Pauline McKendrick : [to Glenn as he tries to talk to Hugh on the phone]  ... this is what you do though because it's disgusting! You cannot treat people like this!

  Glenn Cullen : [suddenly whips round on her]  CAN YOU PLEASE SHUT UP! For one fucking minute? I'm asking nicely. Please!

  [he resumes his call with Hugh] 

  Glenn Cullen : Now, Hugh, look, I'm going to have hang up. I'm going to have to deal with her...

  Pauline McKendrick : Did you enjoy that? Did you enjoy that?