- Michael Kelso: I'm havin' a horrible day. Laurie's gone, and Jackie's all suspicious of me. And I'm gettin' no lovin'. *None*. I can't be me without lovin'.
- Michael Kelso: [Kelso begins to regret cheating on Jackie] Y'know, I guess it was wrong, what I did with Laurie. But I was just amusing myself, y'know? And that's the key to life, right? Never stop amusing yourself.
- Fez: Unless it starts to chafe. Then you should take a week off. It's almost Tuesday, right?