- Bobby Wheeler: Hey Latka. Latka, where you gonna take her?
- Latka Gravas: I'm going to show her all the sights of New York City. I'm going to show her the lights of Broadway and the Statue of Liberty and the apartment of a lonely, lonely man.
- Reverend Jim Ignatowski: In my country, there is nothing worse a person can do than to date a mountain girl. My mother would rather that I date a pig than a mountain girl. It would have been better that a pig would have walked into the garage and said "Hello Latka" . Then I could at least call up my family and say "Hello, yes, I am dating a pig." They would not have been crazy about it, but at least they would have welcomed it into the family ... after awhile. Especially after we had children.
- Reverend Jim Ignatowski: I think you are a wonderful girl and I am proud to be the man whose life you have totally wrecked.
- Latka Gravas: I think you are a wonderful girl and I am proud to be the man whose life you have totally wrecked.