- Waylon Gilbert: What are you doing, Hooker? I got no beef with the law.
- Sgt. T.J. Hooker: Then what are you shaking for, what are you afraid of?
- Waylon Gilbert: Well, it's you, Hooker, you make me nervous.
- Sgt. T.J. Hooker: Oh, really?
- Officer Vince Romano: He has that effect on people.
- Waylon Gilbert: And, and I never wanna hear about that Sal DeNiro again, he's twenty miles of bad road.
- Sgt. T.J. Hooker: It's twenty years of hard labor for you if you helped set op the Ryan kidnapping.
- Waylon Gilbert: Kidnapping? Come on, Hooker, I,I,I wash cars!
- Julia Hudson: Sergeant Hooker, have you recently been involved in a case where you worked in a cemetary or a mausoleum?
- Sgt. T.J. Hooker: I think I'd remember that, why?
- Julia Hudson: [a moment] Nothing... just tired, I guess.
- Carla Bendix: Romano... are you looking for a fourth for a double date?
- Officer Vince Romano: We're looking for Sal Genero, Carla.
- Carla Bendix: That creep I was married to? I think he's dead.
- Sgt. T.J. Hooker: Doubt we could be that lucky.
- Sgt. T.J. Hooker: Now listen here, hardnose. I can get a warrent, but that takes time and time is money. Tax payer's money. I don't wanna waste tax payer's money.
- Julia Hudson: The sergeant is really being very pleasant right now, I don't think you'd like to see him mad...
- Officer Jim Corrigan: But this hospital life's gotta be getting you down, Hooker...
- Sgt. T.J. Hooker: Oh, I can't complain and Wanda here is gonna come back later and do her dance with the doves.
- [kisses Nurse Wanda's hand]
- Officer Jim Corrigan: Oh yeah? Well shove over, you're gonna have some company: me!