- Mr. Moseby: I understand how it is; children can sometimes be a burden!
- Carey: Aww, you have kids?
- Mr. Moseby: Nope, and after seeing yours, not gonna happen!
- Carey: We may live in a palace, but we're not royalty.
- Zack Martin: I think you're a queen, Mommy.
- Carey: Aww. Put a sock in it!
- Tuck: The paparazzi are paying $20,000 to get a picture of that wedding.
- Zack Martin, Cody Martin: We'd be rich!
- Cody Martin: And we could pay mom back!
- Zack Martin: We'd be rich!
- Cody Martin: We wouldn't be burdens!
- Zack Martin: We'd be rich!
- Cody Martin: We could give the rest of the money to charity!
- Zack Martin: I swear we're not related.
- London Tipton: When I inherit this hotel, you are so fired!
- Maddie: Oh, you'll be too busy getting face-lifts!
- Carey Martin: What brings you up so early?
- Mr. Moseby: Couldn't sleep.
- [looks at Zack and Cody]
- Mr. Moseby: Nightmares!
- Zack Martin: What are you doing here?
- Maddie: Saving your butt before I kick it!
- Zack Martin: [smiling deviously] Is that a threat or a promise?
- Carey: [talking about baby-sitters] I was thinking maybe Maddie - works in the gift shop. She needs the money, like us.
- Cody Martin: Oh, Maddie.
- Zack Martin: [to Cody, miming hourglass shape] Baby's got it going on!
- Carey: She's got what going where?
- Zack Martin: I don't know what I'm saying.
- Carey: Yeah, you better not.
- Maddie: [to the Twins] So I've re-arranged the candy bar, so tell me, what draws your eye?
- Zack Martin: You do, Sweet Thang!
- Maddie: Please, some of this candy is older than you.