- Soccer Player #1: You know what I really like? When a boy strokes my hair
- Soccer Player #2: Yeah, and I really love a foot rub.
- Bob: Whoa, this is getting good!
- Cody Martin: Is somebody writing this stuff down?
- Zack Martin: [Has spent a few seconds writing on wall above the peephole he is using] Got it.
- Carey Martin: You're gonna write those girls an apology and an essay on why peeping is wrong. 500 words each.
- Zack Martin: 500 words? Couldn't you just ground us?
- Carey Martin: 1,000.
- Zack Martin: 1,000?
- Carey Martin: 2,000. You wanna go for 3?
- Cody Martin: Quit while we're behind. You don't even know 3,000 words.
- London: [pulls Maddie up to show Moseby the school uniform] You mean I have to wear plaid three times a week?
- Mr. Moseby: School is five days a week.
- Mr. Moseby: [both London and Maddie burst into tears] Glad to see your bonding.
- [after damaging a wall]
- Cody Martin: Oh, no. What's Mr. Moseby going to say?
- Mr. Moseby: Well, I don't know. Let's ask him.
- London: Somebody's in trouble!
- Corrie: [Mimics London] Yeah Somebody's in trouble
- Sister Dominick: Actually, two somebody's!
- London: Who who? The creepy weird girl
- Corrie: [Corrie throws London a shocked look]
- Sister Dominick: No, the spoiled hotel heiress!
- London: Is Paris Hilton in this class?
- Sister Dominick: No, I'm talking about you. You and your friend Maddie just bought yourselves two hours of detention
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: But I've never gotten a detention in my entire life?
- London: Me either!
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: That's because you never go to school!
- London: And now you know why! Thanks to you, Mary-Margaret and I can't go to the fashion show. I hate you
- Mary-Margaret: You were gonna take me?
- London: Yeah
- Mary-Margaret: I hate you too!
- London: [after Maddie throws a crumpled-up piece of paper at Sister Dominic] Ooh, somebody's in trouble!
- Sister Dominick: No, TWO somebodies are in trouble.
- London: Oh! Who?
- [points to Corrie]
- London: The creepy, weird girl?
- Sister Dominick: No, the rich, spoiled hotel heiress.
- London: Is Paris Hilton in this class?
- Zack Martin: The red-headed goalie is mine. Keep your eyes off her
- Cody Martin: You can have have her. I like the mid-fielder who's reading. Would you read cody-wody a bedtime story? I knew that you would
- Zack Martin: Times up Bob. Please come again
- Bob: Okay, Well I did find out that the blonde likes boys who are honest, sincere, and trustworthy.
- Zack Martin: Great, if you ever date her, be sure to tell her that you first spotted her through a hole in the walll
- Bob: Maybe I'll leave that part out
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: I promised Sister Dominic, Mr. Moesby, and God, that I would look after you, and right now I'm not sure who I'm more scared of!
- Mary-Margaret: You're supposed to be in detention!
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: I think I'm going to a much worst place
- Mary-Margaret: I'll pray for you
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: Now I'm not even going to get into Big Al's Beauty School
- London: Not with that hair!
- London: Shamen ona yugen
- [making the shame sign with er fingers]
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: You're a painen in my flugen!
- [walking away agrily]
- London: Casafrugen, Boston?
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: Ishelsnikker yummy, yummy!
- [rubbing her stomach]
- London: Lots of cute boys!
- [the group of nuns gasp in astonishment]
- Soccer Player #1: You know what really makes me melt? A good poke in the eye!
- [Zack, Cody, Bob and Warren are all poked in the eye]
- London: This is where you eat? Where are the tablecloths, the candles, the string quartet?
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: You had a string quartet at your school?
- London: For breakfast. At lunch, it was the Philharmonic.
- London: Listen, Sister Dominick, it wasn't Maddie's fault. I was the one who escape from detention and make us put on the ugly dresses that you wear.
- [Sister Dominick give London a mad look]
- London: No offense! Maddie did her best to get me back inside so I wouldn't get any more trouble. So, don't blame her, blame me.
- Bob: Hey guys, we've got to get to the park. The ice cream hit a tree and there's ice cream everywhere!
- Zack Martin: Who cares? I hit the wall and it's raining girls in there.
- Cody Martin: We are unravelling the mystery that is woman.
- Bob: So you're peeping.
- Cody Martin: For science.
- Bob: I love science. That's my favorite subject.
- Carey Martin: I thought I taught you to have more respect towards women.
- Zack Martin: You did! But those weekends with Dad...
- Carey Martin: Enough!
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: [to Zeke] Open the door!
- Zeke: I'm too big a loser to open the door.
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: That doesn't even make sense.
- Zeke: I'm too big a loser to make sense.
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: Oh shut up!
- Zeke: I'm too big a loser to...
- [Maddie slams the door, scaring Zeke and makes him pull down the window cover]
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: London, think. The show is in New York, which is over an hour away, even by private jet.
- London: Ah, you forget the time change.
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: There's no time difference between Boston and New York.
- London: Really? No wonder I'm always late.
- London: Look, sis, um, can I get that assignment thingy to you another day?
- Sister Dominick: Sure, Lon. Any day in particular you had in mind?
- London: [checks her electronic organizer] Friday won't work because I have yoga, and already on Monday. Can I have my people get back to your people?
- Sister Dominick: [points up] My people are hard to reach. It's a long distance call.
- London: [to Maddie] Thanks to you, Mary Margaret and I can't go to the fashion show. I hate you!
- Mary-Margaret: You were gonna take me?
- London: Yeah.
- Mary-Margaret: [to Maddie] I hate you, too!
- London: [to Maddie] What are you doing?
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: Homework.
- London: There was school today? I thought it was a long weekend.
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: It's Wednesday.
- London: Oh, so it's almost the weekend again. Well, no point in going now.
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: Hey, guys, I'd like you to meet...
- Corrie: London Tipton! I can't believe London Tipton's in our cafeteria!
- London: Me neither.
- Corrie: I just met London Tipton!
- Mary-Margaret: I met her months ago. Believe me, the thrill wears off.
- London: Oh, well, then I guess I'm not inviting you to the Bandini Fashion Show today.
- Mary-Margaret: The thrill is back! Wanna be best friends?
- [London nods]
- London: [gasps] I made a friend at prison!
- London: Oh, table for two. Something with a view, please.
- Sister Dominick: Certainly. Why don't you sit at table one It has a lovely view of table two.
- London: Oh, I understand.
- [winks at Maddie; gives Sister Dominick some money]
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: Sorry, Sister. Please excuse my friend. She's new here and doesn't get it.
- Sister Dominick: Well, I'm making it your responsibility to make sure she does get it. Got it?
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: Got it!
- [to London]
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: Got it?
- London: Got it! What'd I get?
- Arwin: All right, guys, in order to properly re-plaster this wall, ironically, we must first make this hole slightly bigger.
- Zack Martin: All right!
- [hits the wall with hammer]
- Arwin: Not that big! We're going to need more plaster. Luckily, Mother got me some for Christmas.
- Cody Martin: What'd she get you for your birthday, grout?
- [laughs]
- Arwin: No, spackle.
- Sister Dominick: Ms. Tipton, you have a comment?
- London: Yes. You know, about that assignment thingy?
- Sister Dominick: Yes?
- London: It doesn't work for me.
- Sister Dominick: Oh. Do you have other plans?
- London: As a matter of fact, I do.
- Sister Dominick: Well, what works for you?
- London: [to Maddie] Look how reasonable she is. I don't know why you keep saying these nuns are so mean.
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: Sister, I never said that. I said how much you... mean to me.
- London: That's not what you said.
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: Shut up!
- Sister Dominick: We don't say shut up.
- London: Somebody just did.
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: But I've never gotten detention in my entire life!
- London: Neither have I!
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: That's because you never go to school!
- London: And now you know why.
- Zeke: The name is Zeke. First time in detention?
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: I've never even gotten a "B" before.
- London, Zeke: Me neither.
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: And now I'm stuck in here with a bunch of losers!
- London: [to Zeke] What are you in for?
- Zeke: [looks at Maddie] I hit a kid who called me a loser.
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: Sister, save me!
- Mr. Moseby: London, I have a message from your father. He is outraged your poor attendance record at school.
- London: How'd he find out?
- Mr. Moseby: He went to your school open house, and they've never heard of you.