Soap (TV Series)
Episode #4.5 (1980)
Barbara Rhoades: Maggie Chandler
Quotes
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[Jodie walks into a private investigator's office]
Jodie : Maggie Chandler?
Maggie : What does it say on the door?
Jodie : Maggie Chandler.
Maggie : You think I walked into the wrong office this morning?
Jodie : So much for small talk.
Maggie : [not looking up from her typewriter] Have a seat, I'll be with you in a sec. You're the guy with the missing kid?
Jodie : Yes.
Maggie : Why didn't you eat this morning?
Jodie : I wasn't hung-how did you know?
Maggie : You've been eying my Danish ever since you walked in here.
Jodie : Very quick.
Maggie : You're not getting any.
Jodie : I've got you eating out the palm of my hand.
Maggie : [turns to Jodie] Queens.
Jodie : Excuse me?
Maggie : Your accent. Queens, with a touch of Manhattan mixed in. You probably live in Connecticut and you play a lot of ball. You don't smoke, you don't have any cats and you live with your mother, correct?
Jodie : That's amazing.
Maggie : Nothing to it. You see, that nasal tone in your voice is a 50/50 mix of New York working man and New York intellectual, hence the Queens and Manhattan. The whiney quality is obviously Connecticut. You have the body of a second baseman, I don't smell tobacco smoke on your clothes, there's no cat fuzz on your pants and your address is a family neighborhood. No smoking, no cats and mama.
Jodie : I whine?
Maggie : Well, I didn't say it wasn't pleasant.
Jodie : [whining] I don't whine.