Soap (TV Series)
Episode #3.7 (1979)
Kip Gilman: Charlie Walker
Quotes
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[Leslie's ex has shown up, interrupting Billy and Leslie's evening]
Charlie : Kid, run along, huh? I've got some business to discuss with Mrs. Walker.
Leslie : He's not leaving, Charlie, you are.
Billy : Leslie, please. I'll handle this. I'm not leaving Charlie, you are.
Charlie : Look, sonny, either you take a walk or I bounce you down the stairs.
[Charlie starts towards Leslie and Billy twists his arm behind his back]
Billy : I'm only gonna say this once, so you'd better pay attention. You've been asked to leave and you've been asked nicely. Leslie has asked you and now I'm telling you. I'm a fourth-degree black belt in karate a third-degree master in tai chi, so if you stay here and choose to make trouble, I'm going to hurt you very, very badly. So what's it gonna be?
Charlie : I just dropped by to say hello.
Billy : And?
Charlie : And I've said it.
[Billy releases Charlie, but takes a martial arts stance]
Charlie : God, look at the time. I gotta be going. It was nice seeing you both. Bye.
[Charlie slinks out the door]
Leslie : That was wonderful!
Billy : He bought it!
Leslie : Such calm, cool...
Billy : He actually bought it! Usually, they just beat the living hell out of me. It finally worked. Boy is he dumb!
Leslie : Why did you do that?
Billy : Why? 'Cause he's an obnoxious jerk and I wasn't crazy about the way he treated you, or me for that matter.