- Dutch Leitner: Remember, one word, one word from anybody
- [points a gun at Chester]
- Dutch Leitner: ... and he dies.
- Benson DuBois: Anything in particular we'd have to say?
- Eunice Tate-Leitner: I can't believe I'm sitting here laughing with a killer.
- Dutch Leitner: I can't believe I'm sitting here with a rich girl.
- Eunice Tate-Leitner: Well, you're really very nice.
- Dutch Leitner: So are you. And you're very pretty.
- Eunice Tate-Leitner: [Coyly] Oh.
- Dutch Leitner: It's too bad I'm not a rapist.
- Jodie Dallas: I don't know what to do about it.
- Burt Campbell: Just do it a few more times you'll be hooked - it's like pretzels!
- Mary Campbell: It's awful, but I don't know that it's bigger.
- Jessica Tate: Two killers, Mary? I mean, I think two killers is bigger than a gay guy and one pregnant girl.
- Mary Campbell: Yeah, I guess it's bigger.
- Jessica Tate: Although yours is big.
- Mary Campbell: Of course it is!
- Jessica Tate: Just not bigger.
- Mary Campbell: I would've had you if it had been Dennis.
- Father Juniper: Father Tim! What are you doing here?
- Tim Flotsky: I'm getting married. Didn't you know, Father?
- Father Juniper: You mean priests can marry now?
- Tim Flotsky: No, Father. I'm no longer a priest.
- Father Juniper: Oh. I thought it seemed too good to be true.