Soap (TV Series)

Episode #1.23 (1978)

Howard Hesseman: Mr. Franklin

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mr. Franklin : State your name and address, please.

  Mrs. Sheila Fine : Sheila Fine. 5093 Rockridge Road... but call first!

  Mr. Franklin : Mrs. Fine, did you know Peter Campbell, the deceased?

  Mrs. Sheila Fine : Did I know him?

  [to judge] 

  Mrs. Sheila Fine : Do you know what this jerk did to my life? He comes into my house where I'm sitting with my husband, and he says I have to testify since I was having an affair with Peter Campbell! My husband called his lawyer, grabbed his girlfriend, and flew to Acapulco. I hope a taco chip gets caught in his throat and he chokes to death!

• Mrs. Sheila Fine : Yes, Mr. Franklin, I knew Peter Campbell.

  Mr. Franklin : And how did you know him?

  Mrs. Sheila Fine : Lying down.

• E. Ronald Mallu : Now, in your lifetime, have you ever killed anything?

  Jessica Tate : No, never. Unless you want to count the times that I accidentally stepped on ants.

  Mr. Franklin : I object!

  Jessica Tate : [distraught]  Mr. Franklin, you can't help stepping on them! They're so tiny! But I never put out ant poisoning, and I never deliberately tried to kill them!

  Mr. Franklin : ...I'm sorry.