- [Bart and Milhouse are watching a secret tape of police informants]
- Ned Flanders: I really hate to be a snitch.
- Chief Wiggum: Don't worry, your yellow-bellied ratting will be held in the strictest confidence.
- Ned Flanders: Well, in that case, my neighbor Homer released a radioactive ape into my house. It's, uh, taken over the top floor.
- Bart: It wasn't dad's fault. The ape tricked him.
- Agnes Skinner: You are the rudest man who ever... bought me dinner.
- Comic Book Guy: Correction. I do not believe I have ever bought you... Oh!
- Comic Book Guy: [after Comic Book Guy bad mouthed Duff Beer] Oh, please. If I wanted to hear mindless droning, I'd befriend an air conditioner.
- Moe Szyslak: Oh! Now he's ragging on air conditioners!
- Carl: Hey, they keep us cool in the summer, pal.
- Lenny: Get him!
- Bart: [to Milhouse, about the boxes of Biclops comic books] How could you spend all our money on a comic book published by LensCrafters? We'll never sell these. Birds won't even use them in their nests.
- [Bird Cawing]
- Milhouse: Okay! So I made one bad decision!
- Bart: It's my fault for leaving you in charge. Sometimes I forget how young you are.
- Milhouse: I'm only three months younger than you.
- Bart: Oh, look. You're getting cranky. You haven't had your juice.
- Milhouse: Well, my straw broke off in the carton. That's not the point! We're supposed to be partners! And you're pushing me around like a Playskool corn popper.
- Bart: [Chuckles] It's a vacuum cleaner, Milhouse.
- Milhouse: [clearly frustrated] Whatever! I demand respect! I have feelings! I'm a human boy, just like you!
- Bart: [completely oblivious] Shh. Use your indoor voice.
- Milhouse: [fed up with Bart's selfishness] Okay, that's it!
- [charges and lunges at him for a fight, but a commercial break occurs before the ugly part happens]