The Simpsons (TV Series)

Whacking Day (1993)

Harry Shearer: Principal Skinner, Kent Brockman, Richard Nixon, Christian School Teacher, Cola Scientist #1, Hitler, Scratchy, Auditioning Man, Fort Sensible Security Man, Rev. Lovejoy, Lenny, Mr. Largo

Photos 

Quotes 

• Reverend Timothy Lovejoy : [Reading from his Bible]  And the Lord said, "Whack ye all the serpents which crawl upon their bellies, and thy town shall be a beacon unto others." So you see, Lisa, even God Himself endorses Whacking Day.

  Lisa : Let me see that.

  Reverend Timothy Lovejoy : [Putting his Bible away]  No.

• Barney : [Barney is hitting the ground with a stick]  Take that snake! Ungh! And you too! Ungh! Snakes! Snakes everyhere!

  Lenny : Gettin' ready for Whacking Day?

  Barney : What's Whacking Day?

• Christian School Teacher : [after Marge drops Bart off at a Christian school]  Now, Bart, since you're new here, perhaps you'd favor us with a psalm.

  Bart : How about "Beans, beans, the musical fruit"?

  Christian School Teacher : Well, uh, beans were a staple of the Israelites. Yes, proceed.

  Bart : Beans, beans, the musical fruit. The more you eat, the more you toot.

  Christian School Teacher : [the teacher and other students chase Bart out of the school, waving clubs]  Avert your eyes, children! He may take on other forms!

• Principal Skinner : [Last lines; hurrying to deliver mountain bikes to the school bullies still locked in the school basement]  Faster, Willie, faster. Now, we give 'em the bikes, no one sues.

  Groundskeeper Willie : What if they're dead, sir?

  Principal Skinner : Then we ride these bikes to Mexico and freedom, Willie! Freedom!

  Groundskeeper Willie : Freedom.

  Groundskeeper Willie : [quietly muttering]  I'll turn you in at the first tollbooth.

• Superintendent Chalmers : It's always the children's fault isn't it, Seymore?

  Principal Skinner : Yes. Yes it is, sir.