Shared with you
- Bart Simpson: When I grow up, I wanna be in the Betty Ford Center.
- Marge Simpson: You'd better start saving now, it's very expensive.
- Lisa Simpson: Shh! They're strapping down Liza Minelli.
- Homer Simpson: [drunk] Goodnight, Barney. Don't forget to bring back my car back tomorrow. Just slide it under the door.
- Khlav Kalesh Guy: Fresh Khlav kalash! Get your khlav kalash!
- Homer Simpson: Hey, uh, could you go across the street and get me a slice of pizza?
- Khlav Kalesh Guy: No pizza, only khlav kalash.
- Homer Simpson: Aw, shoot... Oh, all right, all right, gimme one bowl.
- Khlav Kalesh Guy: [whips out something reddish on a stick] No bowl, stick, stick.
- Homer Simpson: [Homer buys one, tries it] Oh, geez! That's just awful.
- [finishes it]
- Homer Simpson: Now, what do you have to wash that awful taste out of my mouth?
- Khlav Kalesh Guy: Mountain Dew or Crab Juice.
- Homer Simpson: Blecch! Ew! Sheesh! I'll take a crab juice.
- [Homer drinks the can of crab juice, then several more]
- Homer Simpson: [burps] Uh-oh. Uh, you got a men's room in there?
- Khlav Kalesh Guy: [disturbed] Only khlav kalash. Men's room in tower. Tower! Observation deck!
- Wealthy Dowager: [after getting pushed by Homer on his way to the men's room] How frightfully rude. I certainly hope someone stabs him in the eye!
- Lisa Simpson: [Upon seeing dead rabbits hanging in a store window] Mom, are those rabbits dead?
- Marge: No, they're just, uh, sleeping. Upside down. And... inside out.
- Bart Simpson: When I grow up, I wanna be in the Betty Ford Center.
- Marge Simpson: You'd better start saving now, it's very expensive.
- Lisa Simpson: Shh! They're strapping down Liza Minelli.
- [Homer, Lenny, and Carl are drunk]
- Lenny: Hey, let's go to the girl's college.
- Carl: No, the Playboy Mansion. Playboy Mansion.
- Homer Simpson: Shut up. It's my car and I say we're going to the lost city of gold.
- Bart Simpson: [after witnessing the craziness at the MAD Magazine offices] Wow! I will never wash these eyes again!
- [last lines]
- Lisa Simpson: What a magical city. Can we come back next year, Dad?
- Homer: We'll see, honey. We'll see.
- Barney Gumble: [draws a black pickled egg, meaning he's the designated driver] NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
- Homer Simpson: You got the black one.
- Lenny: Hey, let's go to the girls college!
- Carl: No! Playboy Mansion, Playboy Mansion!
- Homer Simpson: It's my car, and I say we're going to the Lost City of Gold!
- Barney Gumble: [angry] Oh, that's just drunk talk!
- [dreamy]
- Barney Gumble: Sweet, beautiful drunk talk...
- Lisa Simpson: Dad, you got a letter from the city of New York.
- Homer: Throw it away! Nothing good has ever come out of New York City.
- Homer Simpson: [walking out of NY bus station] Now remember, criminals prey on small-town folk like us. So if anyone asks, we're sophisticated millionaires from the Ozarks.
- Marge Simpson: Homer you're scaring the children.
- Homer Simpson: Good! I don't wanna spend *one* extra second in this urban death maze!
- [first lines]
- Moe: What? Oh oh! Here comes the evening rush. Clear out, fellas!
- [dozens of rats rush to their hiding places]
- Alfred E. Newman: Get me Kaputnik and Fonebone, I want to see their drawings for the New Kids on the Blecch! And where's my furshlugginer pastrami sandwiches?
- Woman on Phone: Thank you for calling the Parking Violations Bureau. To plead not guilty, press 1 now.
- [Homer pushes button]
- Woman on Phone: Thank you. Your plea has been...
- Male voice: Rejected.
- Woman on Phone: You will be assessed the full fine, plus a small...
- Male voice: Large lateness penalty.
- Woman on Phone: Please wait by your vehicle between 9AM and 5PM for Parking Officer Steve...
- Male voice: Grabowski!
- Bart Simpson: That took too long, how come we had to transfer in Atlanta twice?
- Lisa Simpson: I just think we should have paid the extra dollar-fifty and gotten a bus with rest-rooms...