The Simpsons (TV Series)

Marge on the Lam (1993)

Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Edward the Penitent, Barney Gumble, Groundskeeper Willie, Mayor Quimby, Farmer, Diner Owner

Quotes 

• [Homer's arms are stuck in pair of vending machines] 

  Repairman 1# : Homer, there's no easy way to tell you this: I'm afraid I'm gonna have to saw your arms off.

  Homer : They'll grow back, right?

  Repairman 1# : Oh... yeah.

  [He cranks up the rotary saw and moves it toward Homer's arm...] 

  Repairman 2# : Wait a minute. Homer, are you just holding on to the can?

  Homer : Your point being...?

• [Homer needs to leave the house in a hurry] 

  Bart : Absolutely, Homer. We don't need a babysitter.

  Homer : Wait a second...

  [He takes a card out of his pocket and reads it: "Always Do Opposite Of What Bart Says"] 

  Homer : Huh. You kids DO need a babysitter!

  Bart : Blast that infernal card!

  [he suddenly gets an idea] 

  Bart : *Don't* give that card to me.

  Homer : [about to hand it to him]  Here you go-NO!

• Lionel Hutz : Mr. Simpson, I was just going through your garbage and I couldn't help overhearing that you need a babysitter! Of course, being a highly-skilled attorney, my fee is $175 an hour.

  Homer : We pay $8 for the night, and you can take two popsicles out of the freezer.

  Lionel Hutz : Three.

  Homer : Two.

  Lionel Hutz : Okay, two. And I get to keep this old birdcage!

  Homer : Done!

  Lionel Hutz : [straightens his tie]  Still got it!

• [Wiggum's car plunges into a landfill] 

  Chief Wiggum : And to think, those stupid environmentalists were protesting this landfill.

  Homer : Solid waste. I could kiss you.

  [kiss it] 

  Homer : EWWW...

  [kisses it] 

  Homer : OOH...

  [kisses it] 

  Homer : BLECH...

  [kisses it] 

  Homer : OOH, I think this was pizza...

• [last lines] 

  Narrator : Ruth Powers was tried in Springfield Superior Court. The judge dismissed her ex-husband's auto theft charges and forced him to pay all back child support. Mr. Powers blamed the outcome on his lawyer, one Lionel Hutz. Lionel Hutz, AKA Miguel Sanchez, AKA Dr. Nguyen Van Thoc, was paid $8 for his 32 hours of babysitting. He was glad to get it. Marge Simpson was charged with a violation of penal code section 618A: "Wanton Destruction of Precious Antique Cans." She was ordered to pay 50 cents to replace the cans, and $2000 in punitive damages and mental anguish. Homer Simpson was remanded to the custody of the United States Army Neurochemical Research Center at Fort Meade, Maryland, for extensive testing.

  Homer : Woo-hoo!

• Barney Gumble : Hey, can I throw up in your bathroom? I'll buy something.

• Marge Simpson : Homer, please, you know how hard it is for me to make friends.

  [Flashback: Marge is seated in the living room, having tea with a group of ladies, laughing] 

  Marge's Friend : Oh Marge, we should do this every week.

  [Homer runs in wearing Bermuda shorts and a "NO FAT CHICKS" t-shirt and carrying a skunk] 

  Homer : Marge, I got sprayed by this skunk!

  [splutters] 

  Homer : Oh look, it's doing it again!

  [screaming, the women scatter]