The Simpsons (TV Series)

Marge Be Not Proud (1995)

Lawrence Tierney: Don Brodka

Quotes 

• Don Brodka : [Jabbing his finger in Bart's chest]  I thought I told you, don't return for busted merchandise.

  Homer Simpson : What are you doing to my son?

  Don Brodka : I'm afraid your son broke the 11th Commandment: Thou shalt not steal.

  Marge Simpson : That's crazy. Bart's not a shoplifter, he's just a little boy.

  Don Brodka : Oh, sure, now he's just a little boy stealing little toys. But someday, he'll be a grown man stealing stadiums and - and quarries.

  Marge Simpson : My son may not be perfect, but I know in my heart he's not a shoplifter.

• Don Brodka : That's it, Mr. Comedian. I'm calling your parents!

  [dials the phone] 

  Don Brodka : Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Simpson? This is detective Don Brodka from Try-N-Save security. That's right, Don Brodka. Your son Bart has been caught shoplifting. Uh huh. Yeah, it's a shame, I know, but... well, try and have a merry Christmas.

  [hangs up] 

  Don Brodka : They weren't home, uh huh. But I left a message on their answering machine, that's right.

• Don Brodka : Hey, kid; one more thing. If you ever set foot in this store again, you'll be spending Christmas in juvenile hall. Capisce?

  [Bart looks confused] 

  Don Brodka : Well, do you understand?

  Bart Simpson : Everything except "capisce".