- [Bart considers apologizing for wrecking Lisa's centerpiece]
- Bart Simpson: Hm. Should I, or shouldn't I?
- [imagines himself opening the front door]
- Bart Simpson: Hey everybody, I'm home.
- Marge Simpson: Bart! You're home!
- [kisses him]
- Marge Simpson: Oh, my special little guy!
- [kisses him some more]
- Marge Simpson: We were so worried.
- Homer: Oh, it's great to have you back, boy. We were afraid we'd lost you!
- Lisa Simpson: Welcome back, Bart!
- [hugs him]
- Lisa Simpson: I'm sorry we had such a terrible fight.
- Marge Simpson: Bart, isn't there something you'd like to say to your sister?
- Bart Simpson: Okay, I'm sorry too.
- [the fantasy suddenly turns nightmarish]
- Marge Simpson: No, no, no! That won't do at all!
- Homer: Yeah, boy. Get down on your knees and BEG for forgiveness!
- Lisa Simpson: Yeah, beg me, Bart. Beg me!
- Bart Simpson: Lisa, I beg of you. Please forgive me!
- [the entire family - including the Bouviers and Grampa - laughs maniacally and points at Bart]
- Marge Simpson: Now we can blame him for EVERYTHING!
- Homer: It's your fault I'm BALD!
- Bart Simpson: I'm sorry.
- Grampa Simpson: It's your fault I'm OLD!
- Bart Simpson: I'm sorry...
- Maggie Simpson: It's your fault I CAN'T TALK!
- Bart Simpson: I'm sorry!
- Uncle Sam: It's your fault America has lost its way!
- Bart Simpson: I'm sorry!
- Marge Simpson, Homer, Lisa Simpson, Grampa Simpson: [chanting] It's all your fault! It's all your fault! It's all your fault! It's all your fault!
- Bart Simpson: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
- [the fantasy ends]
- Bart Simpson: I'm sorry alright - sorry I came back here!
- Marge Simpson: Mom, you made it! How are you?
- Jacqueline Bouvier: I have laryngitis, and it hurts to talk. So I'll just say one thing: you never do anything right.
- [saying grace before Thanksgiving Dinner]
- Homer: And thank you, Lord, for nuclear energy, the cleanest, safest power in the world. Well, except for solar, which we all know is just a pipe dream.
- Grampa Simpson: If I'm not back at the home by nine, they declare me legally dead and collect my insurance.
- Lisa Simpson: [Maggie enters Lisa's room] Maggie! I'm about to present my centerpiece to the family, it's a tribute to the trailblazing women who made our country great, see there's Georgia O'Keeffe,Susan B Anthony, and this is Marjory Stoneman Douglas I'm sure you never heard of her but she spent her whole life trying to preserve the Florida Everglades, as one of the Simpson women would you like to contribute something to it?
- [gives Maggie a crayon;writes a few squiggly line's]
- Lisa Simpson: Oh,thank you
- [hugs Maggie]
- Lisa Simpson: .
- Homer: [picks up Maggie as he watches a Thanksgiving football game] See those blue and silver guys, Maggie? They're the Dallas Cowboys. They're Daddy's favorite team, and he wants them to lose by at least three points.