- Ricky Stratton: At lunchtime, Dad, he even tasted my food.
- Edward Stratton III: Was that necessary, Mr. T?
- Mr. T: Look, man - you hired me because I'm the best in the world, and I never lost a client. If there's a gun, I take the bullet. If there's a knife, I take the blade. I don't work for people I ain't willing to die for - and besides, that food in the cafeteria will kill ya!
- Ricky Stratton: He scared the classroom, he scared the school teacher - and worst of all, he got a hundred on a history test!
- Mr. T: Hey, man - I don't hold back for nobody!
- Miss Campbell: Who can tell me what brought about the need for the Declaration of Independence?
- Miss Campbell: [no students raise their hands; Mr. T raises his hand, but she looks for a kid to answer; Mr. T finally raises both hands] ... Yes?
- Mr. T: Simply put, the colonists were being unfairly taxed by the English crown, without having any input about the way they were being governed, or - as this is most commonly known - taxation without representation.
- Edward Stratton III: Mr. T is the best; I don't know why you don't like him.
- Kate Summers: Well, he scares me.
- Edward Stratton III: Kate, he's just like me and you.
- Kate Summers: Edward, we don't have mohawks.
- Edward Stratton III: Kate, it's not a Mohawk - he's a descendant of the African Mandinka tribe; that's how they wear their hair.
- Kate Summers: Edward, we're in New York. It's a mohawk.
- Edward Stratton III: [holding out his arms] Ricky!
- Ricky Stratton: [hiding his face from his dad with his left hand] Hi, Dad. Good night, Dad.
- Edward Stratton III: Hold it. That isn't the eye you left with this morning. What happened to you?
- Ricky Stratton: Got hit. Good night.
- Edward Stratton III: Good night? It's not even dark yet.
- Ricky Stratton: Well, it is to me.
- Ricky Stratton: [as he and Edward hug] Dad?
- Edward Stratton III: Yeah?
- Ricky Stratton: Your shoulder's in my bad eye.
- Edward Stratton III: When this Ox guy comes up and asks you for the milk money tomorrow, what are you gonna say to him?
- Ricky Stratton: Well, I don't know yet, but I'll think of something... . I *have* to. Mr. T. called Ox by his real name today -- Hobart. Ooo, Ox is so mad.
- Clarence: Ricky, even though you are rich, we want you to know you're one of the gang. You're a real regular guy.
- Ricky Stratton: Hey thanks, guys!
- Clarence: One more thing. Can I borrow $5000?
- Ricky Stratton: [laughing] Nice try.
- [last lines]
- Ricky Stratton: In history class, before the teacher came in, this big guy came over to me and told me to give him my milk money.
- Edward Stratton III: Well, you didn't give it to him, did you?
- Ricky Stratton: No. I told him it was my milk money, and he couldn't have it. Problem is, I don't think he heard me.
- Edward Stratton III: Why not?
- Ricky Stratton: Well, when I said it, he was standing on my face.
- Edward Stratton III: You and I are going down there together tomorrow. We're gonna straighten out this bully. What's his name?
- Ricky Stratton: Ox.
- Edward Stratton III: Ox. Yeah. It's never Rodney, is it?
- Kate Summers: Ricky, were you fighting?
- Ricky Stratton: Well, sort of. The other guy threw the punches, and I caught 'em.
- Kate Summers: Why did he hit you?
- Ricky Stratton: Well, some kids saw me getting out of the limo this morning, and they put two and two together, and... figured out I was a rich kid.
- Edward Stratton III: I knew I shoulda had Jenkins take you in the Ferrari.