Plot

George runs over a flock of pigeons. Jerry's girlfriend has a vintage toy collection she won't let him touch. A new co-worker is freaking Elaine out. Kramer rebuilds the set of "The Merv Griffin Show" in his apartment.

After Kramer rescues the set of the old Merv Griffin show from a dumpster, he sets it up in his apartment where he interviews anyone who happened to drop by. George's new girlfriend gives him a hard time after he strikes a pigeon with his car. When he hits a squirrel she insists that he take it to the vet and then care for it at home. A new guy at the office is driving Elaine crazy. Jerry has a new girlfriend who inherited a fabulous collection of classic toys from her late father. She won't let Jerry touch them - let alone play with them - but he soon finds a way around that.—garykmcd

Kramer happens to find the old set of the Merv Griffin Show in a dumpster, and promptly fixes it all up in his apartment, where he starts to treat his life like an interview show. Elaine gets ticked off by the new guy at her office who keeps sidling up beside her without her noticing. George's girlfriend forces him to take care of a squirrel he runs over, whilst Jerry's girlfriend has a fantastic toy collection but won't let him play with it.—two_green_bottles

Kramer stumbles across the set of the old Merv Griffin Show in a large contracting dumpster on the street. George's girlfriend, Miranda (Arabella Field), is disgusted when he runs over some pigeons with his car. George believes that pigeons and humans have a deal (pigeons are to move out of the way when humans approach, and humans will overlook the pigeons' statue defecation), and that the pigeons have broken that deal. Jerry is intrigued with his new girlfriend's Celia (Julia Pennington) antique toy collection that she won't let him touch. Laney's new co-worker is a "Sidler" Lou (Brent Hinkley): he moves silently behind people. He causes Laney to spill coffee on her jacket that creates a stain that looks like Castro.

Kramer takes the discarded set pieces and perfectly recreates The Merv Griffin Show set in his apartment. He pretends that the show is still on the air and acts as the new host, even using the show's theme when "guests" come onto the set, conducting interviews with everyone who enters his apartment. Kramer even stops interviews and cuts to a "commercial break" where he sips on a Diet Coke and eats from a bag of chips, before exclaiming "We're back!" Laney schemes to "out-Sidle the Sidler" who might be "sidling her out of a job", by wearing wrestling shoes. While George swerves to avoid a pigeon, he instead hits a squirrel. Jerry schemes for an opportunity to play with Celia's toys. On his "show", Jerry says he's finally found a way to play with the toys, by accidentally drugging Celia with sleep inducing medication; Kramer is shocked by Jerry's scheme.

Kramer adds Newman (Wayne Knight) as a co-host for his "show" to help relieve the pressure of being a host.

Miranda insists that George pay for a surgery required to save the squirrel instead of putting it to sleep. Laney gives Tic Tacs to the Sidler to make him noisy; unfortunately, the sound irritates J. Peterman (John O'Hurley), which reminds him of an old Haitian torture method and if he hears another rattle, Laney will be fired (since he mistakenly believes it was her all along). Laney confronts the Sidler and suggests an alternative, like gum; however, the Sidler hates gum, but only enjoyed the Mickey Mouse gumball machine which "they stopped making twenty years ago."

Jerry and George treat Celia to a dinner of turkey (which contains Tryptophan) and red wine, followed by a boring home movie of George's boyhood trip to Michigan; she soon dozes off. Once she's asleep, Jerry and George happily play with the toys like children. Later, Laney joins in to play with an Easy-Bake Oven (even though the batter, according to Jerry, is three decades old).

Kramer is concerned about his "ratings" and decides to change the format of the show to "Scandals and Animals". On the "show" (still without cameras), Kramer gets Jerry to admit that he's been drugging Celia. Kramer then brings out angry Celia (who was "backstage"), who dumps Jerry as Kramer and Newman do their best to whip up the non-existent audience with "oohs" and "Ahhs".

For the Animals segment of the show, Kramer invites old friend and animal expert Jim Fowler, who arrives with a hawk and asks Kramer, "Where are the cameras?" George brings the squirrel over to the set to get Fowler to take it off his hands for him, but the hawk goes after it and George (since he was holding the squirrel). The Merv Griffin set is destroyed in the process, and afterward Kramer admits, "It was a grind having to fill 10 hours a day." At Miranda's behest, bandaged George still has to care for the squirrel and sleep on the sofa; he then warns the pigeons ("Laugh it up. I'm getting in my car now and the last thing I heard... we have NO DEAL!") The episode ends with Laney and the Sidler knocking out Celia once again to play with her toys.