- Susan Ross: [after George tells his mother he and Susan are getting married, her mother asks to speak to Susan] I just want you to know that I love your son very much.
- Estelle Constanza: You do?
- Susan Ross: Yes.
- Estelle Constanza: Really?
- Susan Ross: Yes.
- Estelle Constanza: May I ask why?
- George Costanza: Remember Susan, the one who used to work for NBC?
- Jerry Seinfeld: I thought she became a lesbian.
- George Costanza: Naw, it didn't take.
- Jerry Seinfeld: All right, Elaine but this is beyond news. This is like Pearl Harbor! Or the Kennedy assassination! It's like not even news. It's total shock!
- Elaine Benes: Oh, come on, Jerry. Please, please, please, please, please!
- Jerry Seinfeld: George Constanza...
- Elaine Benes: Yeah?
- Jerry Seinfeld: Is getting married!
- Elaine Benes: Get out!
- [Elaine pushes Jerry into the bathroom and he falls with a crash]
- Jerry Seinfeld: [after George tells Jerry he's marrying Susan] Hey, wait a second. Wait a second. ! How about some champagne?
- George Costanza: Champagne?
- Jerry Seinfeld: Yes, come on! How often do you get engaged? Come on!
- [Jerry looks around his kitchen for champagne]
- George Costanza: Okay! Alright!
- Jerry Seinfeld: [after he can't find any champagne] You know what? No champagne. I'll see you later.
- Cosmo Kramer: Hey.
- Jerry Seinfeld: Hey.
- Elaine Benes: Three hours of sleep again last night. Three hours of sleep because of that dog.
- Cosmo Kramer: What dog?
- Jerry Seinfeld: Why don't you call the police?
- Elaine Benes: I did, Jerry. They won't do anything.
- Cosmo Kramer: Yeah, what dog?
- Elaine Benes: There is this dog in the courtyard across from my bedroom window that never, ever stops barking.
- [Hoarsely]
- Elaine Benes: I lost my voice just screaming at this thing. I can't sleep. I can't work. I mean, I just moved. I can't move again. What am I gonna do? What? What am I gonna do?
- Cosmo Kramer: There is something you can do.
- Elaine Benes: What? Kramer, I'll do anything.
- Cosmo Kramer: Well, what if there should be an unfortunate accident?
- Jerry Seinfeld: You're gonna rub out the dog?
- Cosmo Kramer: No, no. Not me. I just happen to know someone who specializes in exactly these kinds of sticky situations.
- Elaine Benes: Uh-huh.
- Jerry Seinfeld: What? You're considering this?
- Cosmo Kramer: Just meet with him. See what he has to say. You got nothing to lose.