J.D. : Jason, if you are filling out a female patients exam report her breasts can be healthy or unhealthy, never "banging double d's".
Dr. Kelso : Who the hell is responsible for not treating that man?
Dr. Cox : Well Bobbo, I was going to treat him but I lost my stethoscope...
J.D. : He's my patient Bob!
[Kelso and Cox turn around]
J.D. : I'm responsible!
Dr. Kelso : Dr. Dorian, I've kept my mouth shut about the recent sexual harrassment complaints because I don't think it's fair to punish a man for making small talk. Or say, asking his secretary for just once, to dress up as a geisha girl and call him "Kelso San"...
J.D. : What?
Dr. Kelso : Nothing! But now I need to know, is this the type of attending you're going to be?
J.D. : I guess so.
Dr. Cox : Lindsay, by you reaching the level of attending physician, you've somehow managed to become a member of club that *I* belong to. Obviously, there was no vote, because if there had been, you would still hear the sound of my voice screaming, "Nay! Nay! Oh, dear God, one thousand times nay!" That being said, it's my obligation to let you in on the organization's one and only bylaw: We're men.
J.D. : Yes we are.
Dr. Cox : The women are men, the children are men, the men of course... MEN. So, I went ahead and took the liberty of making you five man cards.
[He gives J.D. five note cards with the word "MAN" on them]
Dr. Cox : Hold them very dear because every time you drop the ball "man-wise," I'm going to take one from you.
J.D. : I don't need your approval, or your stupid man cards! Although the lettering is darling, have you ever done calligraphy?
Dr. Cox : [Dr. Cox snatches back one of the man cards and exits] Thank you.
J.D. : Damn it!
Carla : [to Turk] Oh, babe, I borrowed your backpack this morning and all my change fell out the bottom.
J.D. : Maybe someone or something had to gnaw a hole in it to keep from suffocating.
Turk : And maybe someone already apologized for that about a hundred times.
J.D. : Well maybe a hundred wasn't enough, I don't know!
Dr. Cox : [Dr. Cox enters and snatches a man card from J.D.'s pocket and hits him in the face with it] Absolutely no lover's quarrels!
J.D. : [Dr. Cox exits] Damn it!