- Whale Protestor: [shouting during anti-war rally] Then, legalize porn!
- Protest Leader: Sir, it is legal... okay?
- Whale Protestor: Not the kind I like...
- Joseph Jackson: Ooh! One time... I mean, one time, I was sleeping on my own gold-plated La-Z-Boy chair, LaToya and Michael peeped over the headrest at me, and I thought for a minute I was being attacked by glow-in-the-dark vampire bats! I would like to say, I almost crapped my drawers!