"Tooth or Consequences" opens with Lamont's breakfast burning and Fred's tooth aching for more than a week. No amount of pleading will get him to go to the dentist: "they don't even care if they hurt you or not, they just yank you and thank you!" Lamont tries to reassure his father that they now use needles: "I don't want to get hooked on that stuff!" Bubba's diagnosis doesn't help matters: "you got a lot of ugliness in your mouth, Fred" "at least mine is on the inside, Bubba!" Giving quack Dr. Caldwell a run for his money is hypnotist Professor Sylvester Poe (Ray Oliver), trying to remove the pain through mesmerism: "you're a hypnotist?" "among other things...I'm also a handwriting expert, a certified public accountant, and a hair stylist...I'm a minister, a justice of the peace, and a reformed rabbi!" Due to the interruption Prof. Poe only charges $2 and a shot: "I'm also an alcoholic!" Lamont takes his father down to the city clinic because it's free: "so is an autopsy free, you don't see me runnin' down there trying' to get none do you?" The pretty young receptionist (Ella Edwards) asks Fred how long he's been having this trouble: "ever since he was born!" "I was talking about the pain you're having" "that's what I'm takin' about, my son the pain!" The difference between a black dentist and a white one finally puts a smile on Lamont's face!
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