- Fred G. Sanford: Well, junk business is like show business. If I got some junk I gotta show it or I'm out the business.
- Lamont Sanford: [Addressing his father, who is drunk and singing] You're just full of songs tonight. And what else are you full of, Muscatel?
- Fred G. Sanford: No. We were drinking Muscatel and Ripple. In fact, I call it Muscatipple.
- Fred G. Sanford: Old folks got plenty of feelings. Just because a prune is wrinkled don't mean it ain't tasty.
- Lamont Sanford: [after Fred returns from calling a cab at the neighbor's home] Pop, Judy and I are lovers!
- Fred G. Sanford: [Stunned] But, I wasn't gone but five minutes.
- Lamont Sanford: Hey, Pop, if women got all these bad qualities, how come you chase after 'em like you do?
- Fred G. Sanford: Well, son, you know what the Bible says. Woman was made from a rib. I can live without a lot of things, but I can't live without ribs.