- Lamont Sanford: [Comes in] Hey Pop, I'm home.
- Fred G. Sanford: [Almost immediately to him] I want a new TV!
- Lamont Sanford: What?
- Fred G. Sanford: You heard me, and I won't take 'no' for an answer! I want a new TV!
- [Melvin is standing behind Lamont, he draws a box with his fingers]
- Fred G. Sanford: With a big screen!
- [Melvin mimes pushing buttons on one]
- Fred G. Sanford: And remote control.
- [Melvin them points to his cheek]
- Fred G. Sanford: And color.
- [Biggest laughter]
- Fred G. Sanford: [Sore over Lamont's purchase of a convertible rather than a TV] You know that picnic you're thinking of going on? Well, when you start out I hope you run out of gas! On a mountain! The filling station is 10 miles away! Uphill! And when you get there I hope it's closed!
- Lamont Sanford: [after Fred demanded a new TV] I'm not going to spend my hard earned money so you and your buddy can sit around drinking beer all day. In, fact I already bought something more important.
- Fred G. Sanford: Like what?
- Lamont Sanford: Just stick around. You'll find out.
- [Picks up the phone and dials a number. Into phone]
- Lamont Sanford: Hello? Hey baby, it's Lamont. Guess what? I bought a car!
- Fred G. Sanford: [Shocked] You WHAT?
- Lamont Sanford: [Still in the phone] I bought a car. A little blue convertible.
- Fred G. Sanford: [Going into heart-attack mode] Ohhhhhh! This is a bad one! THIS IS THE WORST ONE EVER!
- Lamont Sanford: [to Fred, unconcerned] Would you mind waiting until I'm off the phone first before you have another heart attack?