- Lamont Sanford: You know, Jesus fed the multitude with only four fish and a loaf of bread, right?
- Fred G. Sanford: [Referring to his poolroom friends] Yeah, but you couldn't keep those big bellies full with four *whales* and a *truckload* of bread!
- Donna Harris: [after complaining about the sex and violence in modern movies] You know, Fred, I miss the old movies.
- Fred G. Sanford: Yeah, me too. Y'know, like Mickey Rooney in "Love Finds Andy Hardy." If they made that same movie today, they'd have to call it "Love Finds Andy Naked."