- Zelda Spellman: Look, if you want him to notice you, don't be so available. Get a hobby or a job. When I was a girl, I kept bees.
- Sabrina Spellman: I think I'll get a job.
- Zoe: What kinda job are you looking for?
- Sabrina Spellman: Ah, just something to keep me busy on Friday nights.
- Zoe: Yeah, I don't have a boyfriend either.
- Magic Joel: Pick a card! Any card! And I will amaze and astound you.
- Libby Chessler: You mean bother and bore me.
- Zelda Spellman: [to Ethan] But you have to factor in, quarks remain forever trapped in the particles they create.
- Hilda Spellman: I know the feeling.
- Hilda Spellman: What's your favorite Bruce Willis movie?
- Ethan: I don't now, 'Die Hard'?
- Hilda Spellman: One, two or three?
- Ethan: Weren't they all the same?
- Hilda Spellman: No. Actually two is very different.