- Sabrina Spellman: You should know I have these two really weird aunts.
- Jennifer 'Jenny' Kelley: But I like weird. I love weird. I bask in the glow of weird. I...
- Harvey Kinkle: [interrupting] You know I think Jenny will fit right in. Aw!
- Jennifer 'Jenny' Kelley: That was me.
- Sabrina Spellman: [referring to the repairman] He can't stay. He has a tail.
- Salem Saberhagen: What's wrong with having a tail?
- Zelda Spellman: Sabrina, you aren't a rumpist, are you?
- Sabrina Spellman: A rumpist? What's a rumpist?
- Zelda Spellman: Someone who judges others by their rear ends.
- Sabrina Spellman: No. Okay, not usually. It's not me I'm worried about, it's Jenny.
- Zelda Spellman: Is she a rumpist?
- Sabrina Spellman: No, but if she sees a repairman with a tail, she might get suspicious.
- Sabrina Spellman: [lightning and thunder caused by Hilda] We get a surprising amount of lightning around here.
- Jennifer 'Jenny' Kelley: This is such a great place. I mean how many people have their own turret?
- Sabrina Spellman: I don't know, me and Repunsel?
- Sabrina Spellman: Salem, guard my door so Jenny doesn't go anywhere, okay?
- Salem Saberhagen: Hey, dogs guard. Cats watch... and judge.
- Jennifer 'Jenny' Kelley: [in Drell's gym in the other realm] I've never seen a place like this before.
- Drell: It's called a gym.
- Sabrina Spellman: I don't see Jenny anywhere. I thought you said she might be in Limbo?
- Hilda Spellman: Well, she's not.
- Zelda Spellman: But don't worry, everything will be fine.
- Sabrina Spellman: How can you say that?
- Zelda Spellman: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.
- Hilda Spellman: [referring to the Lint-Gremlin] Well, find the rest.
- Zelda Spellman: Please and be quick about it, our niece has a mortal over.
- The Repairman: Oh, a mortal. I'd tuck in my tail but it tickles.
- Rules Bearer: Rule number eight hundred and three: For every rule, there is a loop-hole. In fact there are more loop-holes than rules.
- Rules Bearer: [reading] Rule number fifty-six: All witches must eat their carrots. Rule number fifty-seven: Bats may not be kept as pets. Rule number fifty-eight: Not using double negatives will be disallowed. Rule number fifty-nine: All children under ten must be accompanied by monkeys. Rule number sixty: No switching channels between programmes. Rule number sixty-one: All rules must have a beginning, a middle and an end, except... Is that it? I don't get that one.
- Hilda Spellman: That's a magic drier.
- Sabrina Spellman: It is?
- Hilda Spellman: It fluffs, it folds and it never loses a sock but it's been on the fritz lately. We're still waiting for the repair man.
- Sabrina Spellman: When was he supposed to show up?
- Hilda Spellman: Er, sometime in the afternoon between 1968 and 1998.
- Hilda Spellman: From the hand-towel to the guest-towel, the beach-towel to the bath-sheet. Towels have helped make our nation great.
- [raising her glass of water]
- Hilda Spellman: Towels. Okay, let's talk about something else.
- [peeping at the list given by Sabrina]
- Hilda Spellman: Oh! The collapse of the economy on the Isle of Mann.
- Zelda Spellman: Did you have fun at Jenny's?
- Sabrina Spellman: It was amazing. Last night we had casserole, played Monopoly and then we watched TV.
- Zelda Spellman: How will you ever wind down?
- Sabrina Spellman: It was so much fun to be in a normal house, with a normal family, doing normal things.
- Zelda Spellman: Is that why you've never invited Jenny for a sleep-over, because you think we're weird?
- Sabrina Spellman: That's a complicated question but the short answer would be yes.
- Zelda Spellman: Well that's ridiculous. We can be as normal as anyone, watch. I'm mixing by hand, just like a pioneer woman.
- Drell: Skippy man, where do you pick up these strays? Don't look so sad. You know you can't have a mortal, you didn't feed the last one.
- Drell: [referring to Jenny] Does she have a segmented body and ears on her thorax?
- Sabrina Spellman: No.
- Drell: Wanna bet?
- [sticking the glass jar containing Jenny, the grasshopper, in front of Sabrina's face]
- Zelda Spellman: Oh dear.
- Sabrina Spellman: Jenny? What did you do to her?
- Drell: I turned her into a grasshopper.
- Hilda Spellman: Why?
- Drell: Ah, it's either that or a katydid.
- Salem Saberhagen: What are you making?
- Zelda Spellman: Sugar cookies.
- Salem Saberhagen: With bits of liver?
- Zelda Spellman: No, sprinkles.
- Salem Saberhagen: Yuck!