- Gordie: Jumping to the end of the millennium, the Science Club will be meeting every day after school to celebrate national science week.
- Libby Chessler: You mean national geek week.
- Mr. Eugene Pool: ...And the best way to remember it is, mandible has a 'B' and that stands for bottom.
- Harvey Kinkle: [to Sabrina] But how do we remember maxilla?
- Sabrina Spellman: It's the other one.
- Libby Chessler: Hey, Gordie, why don't you come up with a scientific explanation for why you're such a loser?
- Jennifer 'Jenny' Kelley: No one knows or cares what Galileo did in 1581.
- Sabrina Spellman: He entered the university of Pisa.
- Jennifer 'Jenny' Kelley: Sabrina, I didn't know you were a geek.
- Sabrina Spellman: I'm not. I just like science. Does that make me a geek?
- Jennifer 'Jenny' Kelley: No, I guess not.
- Sabrina Spellman: And, you know, I'm even thinking of going by the Science Club after school.
- Jennifer 'Jenny' Kelley: Okay, now that could be a problem.
- Sabrina Spellman: Why?
- Jennifer 'Jenny' Kelley: Because this is high school. If you show passion or enthusiasm for anything, you're doomed. You might as well be wearing a big 'Kick Me' sign.
- Sabrina Spellman: Well, why does everyone have to be stuffed in a category? I mean I don't get it. Look around. The cheerleaders only eat with the cheerleaders, The geeks only eat with the geeks. I just don't want to be labelled.
- Harvey Kinkle: You have no choice. You have a grace period as a new student but pretty soon you're going to be stereotyped.
- Sabrina Spellman: Well, what are you guys?
- Harvey Kinkle: Well, I'm a quasi-jock with semi-literary aspirations and a hint of denialism.
- Sabrina Spellman: If only it was that simple for me. Jenny, what are you?
- Jennifer 'Jenny' Kelley: I tried to be an outsider but I didn't really fit in. Now Libby calls me a freak and I'm okay with that.
- Sabrina Spellman: Well, why can't I just be me?
- Harvey Kinkle: That's a pretty small group.
- Libby Chessler: It's spirit week at Westbridge. We're playing Eastbridge this weekend and we're number one.
- Harvey Kinkle: Yeah, in turn overs and penalties.
- Jennifer 'Jenny' Kelley: Libby's not popular. She's powerful.
- Sabrina Spellman: Well, how did she get the power?
- Jennifer 'Jenny' Kelley: She seized it and as long as there are people backing her up, she'll keep it. It's all very Stalin.
- Gordie: I'm sorry.
- Libby Chessler: Oh, you are so transferred.
- Sabrina Spellman: Libby, lay off him. It was an accident.
- Libby Chessler: It's just like a freak to defend a geek. Maybe the 2 of you can get weekend jobs at the carnival.
- Mr. Eugene Pool: Okay, er, I see Sherman's sporting a new look. Did you get contacts?
- Sherman: No, someone stole my glasses.
- Mr. Eugene Pool: Well, er, let's begin by discussing the biggest scientific breakthrough in recent months, the possible evidence of life on Mars. Er, what does this discovery mean to us? Howard?
- Howard: It means that the governments been covering this up for years and that Scully and Mulder are right, the truth is out there!
- Sabrina Spellman: I never knew a pickle could be used as a light bulb.
- Gordie: Oh, it's super-versatile.
- Libby Chessler: [to Sabrina] You went to Science Club! That is too perfect. You're a geek in freaks clothing.
- Hilda Spellman: [wearing her cuirass] Look, it still fits and it's great for lounging around the house.
- Zelda Spellman: That doesn't count as a use.
- Hilda Spellman: Why not?
- Zelda Spellman: No one wears metal after labour day.
- Zelda Spellman: You went to Science Club? Oh, that's wonderful.
- Sabrina Spellman: No, it's not. Now Libby thinks I'm a complete geek.
- Hilda Spellman: I knew this would happen. It's Zelda's influence. I begged you to watch TV with me so you'd be normal.
- Zelda Spellman: Now, it shouldn't bother you what Libby says.
- Sabrina Spellman: It shouldn't but it does.
- Libby Chessler: I'm the new president and by the way, membership is closed. Science Club is now limited to 6 people.
- Sherman: That's how many can fit in the space shuttle.
- Hilda Spellman: Look, Salem, I'm tenderising the beef with my mace. It's a deadly weapon and a handy kitchen tool.
- Salem Saberhagen: Oh, please, we've all seen the infomercial.
- Sabrina Spellman: Well, you'll be happy to know I got kicked out of the Science Club.
- Hilda Spellman: How come?
- Sabrina Spellman: Because Libby says I'm not a total geek.
- Hilda Spellman: I thought you were upset yesterday because she said that you were one?
- Sabrina Spellman: Yes.
- Hilda Spellman: There is no pleasing you.
- Sabrina Spellman: You know the point was to teach Libby that it's what's inside that counts but I just forgot that inside she's just a manipulative, conniving dictator.
- Sabrina Spellman: Well, you know I was just wondering if you'd tried doing any cheers lately? I bet you could.
- Libby Chessler: Any seal can clap. I am a higher life form.
- Jennifer 'Jenny' Kelley: Libby doesn't care what group she's in. As long as she can exclude people, she's happy.
- Howard: Hey, how many cheerleaders does it take to screw in a pickle?
- Jill: I don't get it.
- Libby Chessler: You wouldn't.
- Mr. Eugene Pool: Are you all here for Science Club?
- Harvey Kinkle: Yeah, science rocks!
- Mr. Eugene Pool: Welcome! Welcome! Oh, what a happy day. I've touched you, kids. I'm going to save the space programme.
- Sabrina Spellman: No matter what we're labelled Libby will always be Libby and I will always be me.
- Hilda Spellman: You had to become a geek to figure that out?
- Sabrina Spellman: Well, it's actually rather complex. I just put it in layman's terms for you.
- Zelda Spellman: I have to do that all the time.
- Sabrina Spellman: Look, Libby, I thought you might need a friend.
- Libby Chessler: Why, because all my other friends dumped me? Don't they realise that geeks have needs and wants and feelings? If you trip us do we not fall? If you prick us do we not scream and pass out?
- Sabrina Spellman: And what did that teach you?
- Libby Chessler: To hate cheerleaders.
- Sabrina Spellman: No. It teaches you that it's what's inside that counts.
- Hilda Spellman: [to Sabrina] Look at you. Geeked to the gills. This is awful. I blame myself. No, wait, I blame Zelda.
- Sabrina Spellman: I feel smart and you know what? I learned something. No matter what we're labelled Libby will always be Libby and I will always be me.
- Hilda Spellman: You had to become a geek to figure that out?
- Sabrina Spellman: Well, it's actually rather complex. I just put it in layman's terms for you.
- Zelda Spellman: I have to do that all the time.
- Hilda Spellman: Oh, so what are you saying, you dumb things down for me?
- Zelda Spellman: Well, C colon backslash D'ah!
- Hilda Spellman: Would you speak English?