Roseanne (TV Series)

Tolerate Thy Neighbor (1991)

Roseanne Barr: Roseanne Conner

Photos 

Quotes 

• Roseanne : No, the only thing I've ever wanted for my kids, is that they're happy, and... that they're out of the house. And I tell you what, happy ain't even *that* important.

• Kathy : I'm in hell.

  Roseanne : Nah, you're just in Lanford. Same zip code though.

• Kathy : Good? What do we have here? So far we've eliminated Jimmy Mullins and Bob Hope.

  Roseanne : Well, I didn't see the driver, that could've been Bob Hope.

• Roseanne : God, I hate Kathy Bowman!

  Becky : And today's reason is?

  Roseanne : Well, she spends about a billion dollars on all this furniture that looks like it belongs in Italy, you know, and now, here she is giving it away to charity! This couch don't even have any butt-dents in it.

• Jackie : Anybody want to ride in the truck?

  Becky : Yeah, sure!

  Jackie : Darlene?

  Darlene : I don't think so.

  Roseanne : Oh, go on Darlene. Get out of the house, it'll be fun! You can roll down the window, and spit into convertibles.

  Darlene : Alright.

• Roseanne : Hey, you know, I'm really sorry, but I, I didn't know your house was getting robbed, or nothing. I mean, I thought I was doing a good thing. I thought I was doing something for charity.

  Kathy : A good thing. It was a *stupid* thing, Roseanne. It was the *stupidest* thing anybody has ever done, and you... are the *stupidest* woman on the face of the earth.

  Roseanne : Oh, oh yeah! I paid twenty bucks for that piece of crap, and you paid two hundred. That's stupid!

• Roseanne : [Jackie wants to know what's bugging Dan]  Oh, you know, D.J.'s his only son, and he's got that thing where he wants D.J. to carry on the Conner name. You know, I told him that Becky'd probably have a couple of kids before she was married, and they'd be Conners, but that didn't help him any.

• Roseanne : Ya know Lanford's not a bad town. You just gotta go with it more, you know, fit in.

  Kathy : And what does that mean, Roseanne? Am I suppose to wander around town in a tacky house coat and flip-flops, with my hair in curlers?