- Darlene: [to D.J. after telling Molly what Darlene said about her] You're about to become a strange smell in the attic.
- Donald Bobeck: [about getting help from the SBA] Not likely. Based on our criteria, we consider you... a bad risk.
- Roseanne: [starts to rise] I'll tell you what a bad risk is. That's *you* sitting across this desk from me, calling *me* a bad risk!
- Molly Tilden: [knocks on the door, Darlene answers, letting her in] Your little brother is doing is again!
- Darlene: I told you I'd take care of it and I did. Dee Jaaaaaay!
- Molly Tilden: What are you calling him down here for? He'll never admit it.
- Darlene: Oh, he won't have to. I put shoe polish on the eye of his telescope so he would be branded the deviate that he is.
- D.J.: [comes downstairs with no shoe polish on his eye] What do you want?
- Molly Tilden: Brilliant plan.
- Darlene: [puzzled] It shoulda worked.
- David: [comes downstairs with black shoe polish on his eye] Hey!... What?
- [Molly is grinning, Darlene seeths with anger. A sign blocking the screen reads: DUE TO ITS EXTREMELY GRAPHIC AND VIOLENT NATURE, THE REMAINDER OF THIS SCENE HAS BEEN CENSORED]
- Roseanne: [to the SBA officer not helping them] You know, the SBA is supposed to be set up to help people like us. Ya'll don't know nothing about people like us. The trouble with people who work for the government, is ya'll have *jobs*!
- Molly Tilden: [about getting D.J. to stop spying on her] So anyway, are you going to do something about your brother?
- Darlene: Yeah, I'll take care of it.
- Molly Tilden: Well I hope so. Because he could grow up to be a pretty disturbed individual.
- Darlene: You don't understand here, Molly. This is the most normal thing he's ever done.
- Roseanne: [Jackie wonders why Roseanne is mad at her] You're the one who dragged that damn ray of hope into this house!
- D.J.: You're a way better baby sitter than Darlene.
- Molly Tilden: Oh yeah?
- D.J.: Yeah. You let me out of my room.
- D.J.: Darlene says there's no electricity or lights where you come from, but that's okay, 'cause you can't read anyway.
- Molly Tilden: Oh yeah? Well what else does she say?
- D.J.: You guys keep live chickens in your kitchen and kill them with your bare hands.