Photos
Quotes
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Dan Conner : It's going to take years of us guys not talking to each other to get back to where we were.
Roseanne Conner : Well, why don't you all cut your tongues out? We know Fred's not using his.
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Dan Conner : You're going to flunk marriage if you can't pass the oral... oh my God...
Dan Conner , Fred : We know too much, we know too much.
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Dan Conner : We're guys. When we talk about sex, there should be bragging, dirty jokes, and the occasional limerick. That's it.
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Dan Conner : [horrified at the discussion he and Fred had] Guess... what... happened... at... work... today.
Roseanne Conner : Everyone... talked... really... slow.
Dan Conner : HOW DARE YOU?
Roseanne Conner : BECAUSE I FELT LIKE IT, THAT'S WHY!
Dan Conner : Do you know what I'm talking about?
Roseanne Conner : NO, BUT I DON'T LIKE YOUR TONE!
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Dan Conner : There's only one way to graciously bow out from this, look down at our feet and walk away.
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Fred : Dan, this pudding is delicious!
Mark Healy : Yeah, but how many calories?
Dan Conner : Oh puh-lease, like you have to worry.
Mark Healy : Hey, I got my problem areas.
[pats his thigh]
Fred : Oh puh-lease, I'd trade my waistline for your thighs any day.
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Dan Conner : What happens in our bedroom is sacred, Roseanne.
Roseanne Conner : Oh yeah, that's in the Bible, right? A toe for a toe.
Dan Conner : How would you like it if I told everybody our business? Huh? How would you like it if I went around telling everyone that you, are not all that interested in sex anymore?
Roseanne Conner : Yeah, why don't you go around telling everyone how your wife constantly turns you down for sex? That would sure embarrass ME.
