Roseanne (TV Series)

Fender Bender (1990)

Debra Mooney: Mrs. Wellman

Quotes 

• Mrs. Wellman : [a week after hitting Roseanne with her car]  Well, my attorney didn't tell me that she was so seriously injured.

  Crystal Anderson : Well didn't you even call her up and see how she was?

  Mrs. Wellman : Well, my attorney advised me not to. He said it would be an admission of guilt.

  Crystal Anderson : Well ya *are* guilty, Meg! You smashed her car!

• Mrs. Wellman : Roxanne, I want you to know that, even though you no longer work for the company, we still think of you as part of the Wellman family.

  Roseanne Conner : I don't suppose my health insurance is still good.

  Mrs. Wellman : [laughs] 

• Mrs. Wellman : [Roseanne is showing her to the door]  Now, why would you feel stupid?

  Roseanne Conner : Because, for some dumb reason, I actually thought that you dropped by to see how I was doing, but you only came by to buy me off.

  Mrs. Wellman : Buy you off?

  Roseanne Conner : Yea, but you bought yourself a huge law-suit, lady, 'cause I'm gonna haul you into court, and I'm gonna squeeze you dry.

  Mrs. Wellman : Well. I hope you have a *very* good attorney.

  Roseanne Conner : [thinking about the incompetent attorney they have, Roseanne is speechless, looks at Dan, Dan is hyperventilating, smiles at Mrs. Wellman, and takes back the check]  Let me rephrase that, Meg. Um, I think what I really meant to say was that if, uh, you know, if I, if I woulda bumped into you, I mean I, I woulda called a lawyer too, you know, but first I woulda, maybe, *called* ya to see if you were okay, and, and, and to say 'I'm sorry'.