- Charismatic socialite Simon Carne adopts the persona of "Klimo" to solve crimes. Does professional jealousy explain antagonism to the celebrated private detective? Or is it something more? And even though Klimo solves case after case for his clients, why are none of the perpetrators ever caught?—Anonymous
- Arthur Amberley (John Standing), a young nobleman, meets Simon Carne (Roy Dotrice), a wealthy older friend, who is arriving by train. Carne has been in India. For his return, he has rented a house in London and, having sent some of his servants ahead to prepare, he invites Amberley to come along for champagne.
Looking at a drawing of the great, but mysterious, detective Klimo, Chief Superintendent Vyvyan (Dudley Foster) rants to his assistant, Inspector Fullalove (John Dawson), about him and other amateurs who cause disrespect for professional detectives. He vows to bring Klimo down. In the carriage on the way to Carne's rented house, he and Amberley discuss Klimo, who has only been in London for a month or so. Amberley begrudgingly admires Klimo for the successful publicity campaign that has so many seeking his services. As the ride continues, they discuss Amberley's wife, Kitty (Felicity Gibson), who Carne describes as "an English rose with just enough thorn in her character." Kitty's most recent friendship is with Cordelia (Barbara Murray), Duchess of Wiltshire.
Kitty is watching Cordelia being laced into a low-cut corset as she tries on her new Paris original. Kitty lightly admonishes her for referring to Carne as a "monster" because of his hump, making it clear that the magnetism of his personality makes you forget any hint of deformity. Cordelia quips "beauty and the beast."
In the carriage, Amberley comments on Carne's habit of playing with little toys, then asks him for the address of the rented house. When Carne says "Number 3, Belverton Terrace," Amberley's face takes on an immediate expression of alarm, pointing out the extraordinary coincidence that Klimo will be Carne's next door neighbor.
Kitty expresses mild concern on the scandalously low-cut Paris designer gown that Cordelia plans to wear to an upcoming ball, but Cordelia flippantly says her husband, Freddy (Peter Cellier), believes her bare throat and chest will provide a "suitable setting for the Wiltshire diamonds" then goes on to say she wants to meet Carne.
After Amberley leaves the house, Carne's servant Belton (John Nettleton) helps him undress, which includes removal of the fake hump strapped on via a leather harness. As Carne stretches the kinks out of his aching shoulders, Belton asks why Carne has saddled himself with such a contrivance. Carne, putting on a "fat suit" and taking off his wig, fake nose and whiskers explains only that sacrifice is necessary for the noble cause of restoring his family fortunes when those who could have helped didn't. This discussion brings on a more somber mood that lasts while Carne puts on the bushy eyebrows, mustache, wild-haired wig, and side-whiskers of his alter ego, Klimo.
The mood lightens as Carne pitches his voice in the high Scottish accent of an eccentric professor and seats himself at a raised desk which is on a turntable that moves from Carne's house to Klimo's. Klimo's servant Mrs. McVitie (Joan Scott) goes over the schedule with him as Buffy, the Marquis of Orpington (Paul Whtisun-Jones) bursts into the room wanting to know if Klimo has found his burglar. Klimo is unconcerned with the Marquis' agitation and explains his strategy of leading the police to the criminal.
Later, in Carne's den, Amberley, Buffy, Freddy, and Carne, discuss the Piccadilly burglary of Buffy's family silver in a desultory fashion. Acting as if it were Amberley's idea, Carne encourages Freddy to take precautions in advance to protect the Wiltshire diamonds at the upcoming ball. In the parlor, Kitty plays Beethoven's "Moonlight" Sonata as Freddy yawns and Carne chats with Cordelia about the statue of a Buddhist deity he owns. She assures him he will receive an invitation to her ball. Carne is surprised when Cordelia is able to describe, with detailed accuracy, a similar statue she has seen. She received a jewel box with a similar motif from Kitty and Arthur when they returned from a visit to India. When Carne indicates his desire to see the box, she invites him to visit her the next day for tea, explaining that the box would normally be in a vault, but since a clasp on the diamond necklace it typically holds is being repaired, the box is available for view.
That evening in dressing for bed, Carne instructs Belton to go to Newbury, write to house agents on hotel stationary, claiming to be a retired tea planter, and get an order to view, making wax duplicates of the keys. The house in question is next to the Wiltshire home, which would provide easy access.
The next afternoon Kitty and Carne are entertained in Cordelia's home when the jeweler enters to return the extravagant diamond necklace. Cordelia urges Carne to hold it. He asks to borrow the box on the day of the ball so that he can take slides to use on a forthcoming lecture at the Royal Society.
The following day Belton reports that all is well, then Amberley bursts into the room to share the news that Freddy has offered Klimo 1000 guineas to guard the necklace on the night of the ball, but Klimo refuses and Freddy is livid. Carne expresses admiration for Klimo and a desire to meet him, when Amberley explains that what with over 200 guests, dozens of servants and staff, it would be impossible to guarantee safety. Klimo, therefore advises that Scotland Yard be brought in to provide "discreet protection." Good common sense, Carne asserts, but Amberley says Freddy is too accustomed to getting his own way to appreciate saving so much money.
Carne shows Amberley his latest toy, a little box with a tiny drawer containing an indentation for a coin. Once you push the drawer in and open it again, the coin has disappeared. Carne gets an idea.
Vyvyan is ranting about Klimo, who explains major burglaries, making professional detectives look like fools. He suspects that Klimo is the thief who gets the goods, plus a fat fee for telling clients how the crime happened. He looks forward to keeping an eye on the ball. Belton and Carne make plans to see to the access between Wilt House and its neighbor (they share a wall) with Belton reprising his role as the tea planter, Braithwaite. But he must be back in time to help Carne dress for the ball. While gone, he is to return the estate agent's keys, ask at a pawnbroker about diamonds, mention Amsterdam when he's told the pawnbroker is out of town, then come home. Mujib (Jaron Yaltan) and Asif (Yafiq Anwar), two of Carne's servants, had designed the coin-disappearing mechanism for the box.
After the ball, Freddy gently takes the necklace from Cordelia's neck but she will not allow further touching until he has locked the jewels away. Meanwhile, Vyvyan looks forward to catching Klimo and is stunned when Fullalove informs him that the diamonds are gone. Cordelia had wanted to take one last look, but when the box was opened, the jewels couldn't be seen. Freddy called in Klimo who said he could explain what happened. By this time, Klimo has opened the mechanism and slipped the diamonds in his pocket before he leaves. Vyvyan comes in to Klimo's home full of accusation, but cannot find the diamonds, because Klimo has had Mrs McVitie give them to Belton so he can put them in the "usual place."
Klimo sends Scotland Yard on the wild goose chase he has set up concerning the tea planter, the estate agent and the pawnbroker. Amberley jokes that if Carne wants to meet Klimo, he'll need to get himself robbed.
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