- Remington Steele: Forgive me for saying so, Mr. Kelsey, but aren't you going to a lot a trouble just to preserve a game?
- Ralph Kelsey: A game? Baseball is a lot more than just a game, Mr. Steele. It's a way of life. It's... it's America.
- Laura Holt: I don't think Mr. Steele has ever played baseball.
- Ralph Kelsey: [Kelsey leans back into his seat, dejected] Ohhh...
- Remington Steele: I may not have played, Ms. Holt, but I am a keen observer of your national past time.
- Ralph Kelsey: So, you'll take the case?
- Laura Holt: I'm sure Mr. Steele will play ball, won't you, sir?
- Remington Steele: Certainly. When do we kick off?
- Ralph Kelsey: [Steele is being introduced to the various members of the team] Doc Gridley, formerly of Muncie, now from Miami Beach.
- Remington Steele: Ah, doctor.
- Doc Gridley: Proctologist.
- Remington Steele: Ah yes, very good with the glove, I presume.
- Laura Holt: Unless Kelsey was a random victim.
- Remington Steele: That's what I love about Laura, you keep narrowing this case down to include everybody.