Queer as Folk (TV Series)
The Art of Desperation (2001)
Chris Potter: Dr. David Cameron
Quotes
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Emmett Honeycutt : [Emmett meets David for the first time.] Oh my God. That guy over there looks exactly like Matthew McConaughey. Maybe he smokes pot, naked.
[to David]
Emmett Honeycutt : Excuse me!
Dr. David Cameron : [laughs] He doesn't hold anything back.
Michael : He was toning it down for you.
Brian : [sits on Michael's lap] Where the fuck have you been?
Michael : Brian, this is David.
Brian : Oh, fuck me, the new beau!
Dr. David Cameron : I've heard a lot about you.
Brian : I've heard a lot about you too. Sixteen right, eleven left?
Dr. David Cameron : Excuse me?
Michael : Nothing.
[to Brian]
Michael : You're tweaked, what are you on?
Brian : Oh, E, K, G.H.B. Most of the letters on "Sesame Street".
Michael : You'll get dehydrated, taking all that shit. I'm gonna get you some water.
[to David]
Michael : You want a beer?
Dr. David Cameron : Sure.
[Michael leaves]
Dr. David Cameron : You've got him well trained.
Brian : Well, he takes care of me, and I take care of him. So, Doc, do you fuck all of your patients?
Dr. David Cameron : Well, if you're referring to Michael I released him from my care, before we went out together. What about you? What do you do?
Brian : Advertising.
Dr. David Cameron : Well, you must know a thing or two about screwing people yourself.
Brian : Yeah, I could do it in my sleep.
Dr. David Cameron : I bet you could.
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Melanie 'Mel' Marcus : [looking at the boys] "The Brian And Michael Show", blah blah blah. Stuck in perpetual reruns.
Dr. David Cameron : Was it always like that? Michael running after him?
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus : It's the greatest love story never told, trust me. What was your name?
Dr. David Cameron : David.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus : Melanie. Trust me, David, long after you're gone, he'll still have Michael. Brian's little acolyte, poor guy. But don't worry, Michael can wait forever; Brian will never fuck him. Pardon my French.
-
Dr. David Cameron : So I suppose I just keep him company while Michael waits.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus : Oh. Oh... Oh, shit! Oh... You're with Michael?
Dr. David Cameron : [nodding] Yeah.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus : Ehm... Oh, Jesus, I, I... I'm sorry. I... I... I didn't mean that, I... I mean... Well I... I mean, Brian's the one that's always showing up with some new guy, so I just assumed that, uhm...
Dr. David Cameron : Don't worry about it.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus : Well, you know, they... they're... They love each other as friends, but that's it. That's really, that's all it is.
Dr. David Cameron : Really? It's not like I didn't know.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus : Do you... want a shrimp ball?
Dr. David Cameron : No... thanks.
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus : Fuck.
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[last lines]
Dr. David Cameron : Who are you thinking about?
Michael : What?
Dr. David Cameron : When you close your eyes, who are you thinking about?
-
Dr. David Cameron : [Michael is waiting for David in his office, when he walks in.] I didn't realize we'd scheduled a follow-up visit.
Michael : We didn't. I told them it was an emergency.
Dr. David Cameron : What's the problem?
Michael : I'm a jerk. Can you adjust that?
Dr. David Cameron : Provided it's not a permanent condition.
Michael : See, the thing is, I don't date very often. You know, real, eat-a-meal, talk, stare-into-each-other's-eyes kinda date. So I... I kind of freaked. And I'm sorry, I was such an asshole.
Dr. David Cameron : You weren't an asshole.
Michael : Believe me, I've seen assholes, and...
[realizing the pun]
Michael : I mean..., ah..., I feel shitty about it..., and I really like you. And I think you might actually have liked me.
Dr. David Cameron : I do like you.
Michael : You do? Well, do you think we could start over?
Dr. David Cameron : Sit down. You're adorable, you know that?
-
Dr. David Cameron : I've never seen so many comic books.
Michael : That's what everybody I bring home says. I mean, people have told me that.
Dr. David Cameron : Uh-hmm. Who's the big fella?
Michael : Captain Astro. Uhm, my friend Emmett, he's staying with me. It was supposed to be a temporary thing but he's become sort of a squatter, may come home at any time, so sorry about that.
Dr. David Cameron : You don't have to apologize for everything.
Michael : I know, I do that. I'm sorry.
-
Michael : Lindsay, this is David.
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson : Nice to meet you!
Dr. David Cameron : Nice to meet you!
Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny : [carrying Gus, greeting from afar] Whoa, Michael!
Michael : [freezes] Let's go check out the vagina sculptures first, get it over with.