- Jim Profit: [voiceover] In my experience, the worst way to get a straight answer is to ask an honest question.
- Bobbi Stakowski: You know, ever since you were a little kid, there's this real snooty sound you got in your voice which made me just want to grab a belt, yank your breeches down, and beat your ass to hamburger. So what do you say?
- [She grabs his belt off his pants]
- Jim Profit: [voiceover] The important thing to always remember in business is what may seem like a calamity can often become an opportunity - and opportunity is what life is all about.
- Jim Profit: [voiceover] Sometimes the most interesting results of an audit have nothing to do with numbers.
- Auditor: Did Jim Profit kill his father?
- Joanne Meltzer: Absolutely. He's the sickest son of a bitch on the face of the earth.
- Jim Profit: Joanne, I'd like to think that someday despite all this we might be friends.
- Joanne Meltzer: Sure, if you ever got a soul or I got a lobotomy.
- Jim Profit: No, life may not be easy. It can be lonely. Full of people we think we know, but barely comprehend. Yet we must always remember: it's the challenges that define us best, and the obsticles that illuminate what we're truly capable of. We must welcome adversary, and embrace struggle. And no matter what we get from life, never give less than one hundred percent. Of course, at the end of every battle-weary day, we fold ourselves into peaceful darkness and find comfort in those gentle words: good night.