- Larry Appleton: [Trying to pry Balki away from the TV, where he is watching 3 different Schwarzenegger movies] Balki... go to bed! It is almost time to get up!
- Balki Bartokomous: But Cousin, how will I know what happened to Arnold Schwarzenegger?
- Larry Appleton: He blows everybody up, marries Maria Schriver and lives happily ever after.
- Harriette Winslow: You got a problem there, sugar. That boy's becoming a couch potato.
- Larry Appleton: A couch potato?
- Harriette Winslow: You know, one of those people that spend so much time watching TV they end up with a butt the size of Detroit?
- Balki Bartokomous: [Balki and Larry are on their way to a concert] Listen, Cousin, don't you think it's time you tell me who we're going to go see tonight?
- Larry Appleton: Chicago.
- Balki Bartokomous: I know where we are, I'm asking you who are we going to go see tonight?
- Larry Appleton: Chicago.
- Balki Bartokomous: Yes, I understand... I'm asking you who's going to be singing here in Chicago?
- Larry Appleton: [giving up] The Beatles.