Peep Show (TV Series)
Warring Factions (2003)
Elizabeth Marmur: Toni
Photos
Quotes
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Jeremy Usborne : So, Toni's friends. Who, what, why, where?
Toni : Well, that's the fun, I don't know anyone! These are our neighbours.
Mark Corrigan : Neighbours?
Toni : Why, did you think I was going to invite my friends? I tell you, you find out who your real friends are when you set fire to Hampton Court maze because you can't take any more of your husband's shit.
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[they're playing the game where people have names of famous people on notes stick to their foreheads and they have to guess who it is]
Toni : Hey Jeremy, have you worked out your...
Jeremy Usborne : [his one is David Blunkett] Oh, don't even go there. It is literally impossible. Turns out I'm just someone's secretary.
Mark Corrigan : The *Home* Secretary, Jeremy, you're the Home Secretary.
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Mark Corrigan : Yeah, so, er, Jeremy tells me you watched a porno together. You know, I'd be into...
Toni : That wasn't a porno. That was The English Patient.
Mark Corrigan : [voiceover] Ha! What an idiotic boob! He's out, I'm in!
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Toni : Don't do anything I wouldn't do, sis... which leaves her a hell of a lot of leeway!
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Mark Corrigan : [trying to seduce Toni by talking about Stalingrad] See, by the winter of '42, the whole city was surrounded by the massed Sixth Army. It was pressing...
[he holds Toni's hand]
Mark Corrigan : And pressing. The Russians couldn't on much longer. Many wanted to submit.
Toni : Mark, you know I don't just bang anyone, yeah? I'm not some kind of next-door fuck jar.
Mark Corrigan : No. No, of course not. What I mean is that the German supply lines were stretched, Zhukov countered...
[he puts Toni's hand back in her lap]
Mark Corrigan : And the siege was broken. And that's all the story of Stalingrad.
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Toni : [about Barry, who she considers to be a "serious power-tripper"] I mean, yes, we can see your hairy chest and no, we're not impressed!
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Mark Corrigan : Listen, let's talk about something else. Something fun. Do you like Blackadder? I got the Blackadder set for Christmas.
Toni : [shaking her head] I never really... I mean...
Mark Corrigan : No, sure, forget it. Terrible idea.
[spots the CD of Jeremy's song]
Mark Corrigan : I know, I know something funny...
[cut to them listening to the song, clearly finding it hilariously awful]
Mark Corrigan : And he's been working on it for about a month!