- Margaret Meldrew: She's dead!
- Victor Meldrew: She can't be dead! She's the bloody health and fitness instructor!
- [first lines]
- Margaret Meldrew: Are you sure you don't want to have...
- Window Cleaner: I don't want anything. I want me four pound fifty, then I'm going straight back and reporting this to the police.
- Margaret Meldrew: Yes, well, look, I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding.
- [last lines]
- Victor Meldrew: Here we are. Where are you hiding this morning? Bet you're thirsty, little thing.
- Victor Meldrew: Well that's another evening of rip roaring humdingery entertainment drawn to a close then!