Pat Harrington Jr.: Dwayne F. Schneider

Quotes 

• Dwayne F. Schneider : I do believe in the old saying that you cannot break up a good marriage.

  Julie Cooper : Who said that?

  Barbara Cooper : Henry the Eighth.

  Dwayne F. Schneider : [suddenly amused]  Henry the Eighth! He used to marry them two at a time...

• Dwayne F. Schneider : [Schneider has parting advice when Ann's illicit boyfriend arrives and he's asked to leave]  Listen, pal, y'got a terrific little lady here, so don't louse it up. And one more thing before I go. Please always remember and don't ever forget...

  Ann Romano : What?

  Dwayne F. Schneider : I - I - I forgot.