- Oscar Madison: [Oscar loses Felix's burial deposit, and goes to the cemetery to make amends] I just want to know who bought plot 204.
- Cemetery Salesman: Oh, I'm sorry, sir, but that's privileged information... We don't give that out to the public.
- Oscar Madison: Well, I can appreciate that, but I want to help my friend, Felix Unger.
- Cemetery Salesman: Oh, yes, Mr Unger. Very nice man. Sorry to lose him.
- Oscar Madison: Well, you don't have to lose him. Just give me the name.
- Cemetery Salesman: I'm sorry, sir, but it's a matter of ethics. Besides, the owner may be leaving this earth very soon.
- Oscar Madison: Uh, maybe he'd like to make a little profit before he goes. I mean, he paid 500 for it, I'll give him 750.
- Cemetery Salesman: But you couldn't give him anything if you didn't have his name.
- Oscar Madison: OK, OK, I'll double it. I'll give him a thousand dollars for the plot.
- Cemetery Salesman: No. You'll give him 750 for the plot.
- Oscar Madison: Oh, thank you.
- Cemetery Salesman: And you'll give me 250 for his name.
- Oscar Madison: But that is...
- Cemetery Salesman: I know, but the cemetery game is a jungle.