- Christine Sullivan: Well, Dan, all I can say is, I am not afraid of a little pain.
- Dan Fielding: Well, whatever you say, Christine...
- [Christine gasps and seizes Dan's wrist in a death grip]
- Dan Fielding: EEEE! EEEE! EEEEE-EEEEEE-EEEEE!
- Buddy Ryan: Ah, the love theme from "Psycho."
- Woman: [the elevator is broken. To the crew] You'll have to wait. There's some pregnant woman stuck in the elevator.
- Baliff Nostradamus 'Bull' Shannon: Oh no, that means Christine had to take the stairs!
- Dan Fielding: You *almost* know what's going on, don't you?
- [Trapped in an elevator with Buddy and Christine]
- Harry Stone: Miss Sullivan, are you in pain?
- Christine Sullivan: Yes! I'm having a baby!
- Harry Stone: Well, you can't have it in there!
- Alexander Tobin: That's what I'm trying to tell her!
- Harry Stone: Who are you?
- Alexander Tobin: I'm Alexander Tobin, and I'm being held against my will by a pregnant woman and a *lunatic!*
- Harry Stone: ...Buddy?
- Buddy Ryan: Hi, son! Don't worry about us, we're having a ball!
- Buddy Ryan: [Seeing Christine pregnant for the first time] Is it my imagination, or is Christine developing a beer gut?
- Christine Sullivan: [after a false alarm sets off a crazy emergency plan] Now hear this: I am not in labor, I just banged my knee on the table! Sheesh! I knew you guys would overreact, but please, there were cooler heads at the Ayatollah's funeral!
- Harry Stone: Hey, it was just a way of getting you to the hospital quickly. A simple, rational plan.
- [sound of helicopter overhead]
- Helicopter Pilot: [over radio] Chopper One to Stone, Chopper One to Stone: we're ready. Over.
- [embarrassed, Harry takes a walkie-talkie out his robes]
- Harry Stone: Stone to Chopper One: false alarm. Over.
- [Christine is stuck in the elevator, in labor]
- Harry Stone: Is there room for a person to lie down in there?
- Dan Fielding: Full-grown man, two women, and a midget with a camera.
- Christine Sullivan: I've already chosen my birth music. It's called "Songs of the Humpback Whale."
- [She plays a tape. Bull spaces out, staring away]
- Court Clerk MacIntosh 'Mac' Robinson: Bull, are you all right? Bull!
- Baliff Nostradamus 'Bull' Shannon: [shakes his head] Remind me, I have to call Mom.
- Harry Stone: I don't know how much time we have, Bull. See if you can find a doctor anywhere in the building!
- Baliff Nostradamus 'Bull' Shannon: Right!
- [runs off]
- Harry Stone: And Roz, you go find someone who can fix this elevator!
- Bailiff Rosalind Jane 'Roz' Russell: Uh-uh. Christine needs me. I'm her Lamaze coach, remember?
- [Christine yells again from inside the elevator]
- Dan Fielding: I'll go, I'll go! But promise me you'll tell me if she uses any four-letter words!
- Christine Sullivan: Buddy? Is that you?
- Buddy Ryan: [takes off his sunglasses and looks into a hand mirror] By golly, it is!
- [not knowing she's in labor, Tony proposes to Christine while she's trapped in the elevator]
- Christine Sullivan: YES!
- Tony Giuliano: Christine, that's terrific! So you'll be my wife?
- Christine Sullivan: I'M GONNA HAVE YOUR BABY!
- Tony Giuliano: Of course you are! Someday.
- Dan Fielding: How's today sound?
- [another scream of pain]
- Tony Giuliano: You mean, she's...?
- [everyone nods]
- Tony Giuliano: Mine?
- [everyone nods]
- Tony Giuliano: But we only, uh... got together once.
- Entire Crowd: We know.
- Christine Sullivan: [after her first contraction in the cafeteria] Buddy, could you help me to the elevator? I may be further along than I thought.
- Buddy Ryan: How can you tell?
- [she holds up a mangled fork]
- Buddy Ryan: Right.