- Christine Sullivan: [about Roz's pen pal] How'd you two meet?
- Rosalind 'Roz' Russell: Well, Alex had my apartment before me, but after he moved to California, his mail kept coming. So I wrote him a letter, telling him that if he didn't do something about it, the next letter he got from me would explode in his face.
- Dan Fielding: How charming.
- Rosalind 'Roz' Russell: I guess I did charm him, 'cause next thing I knew he started writing to me.
- Christine Sullivan: Wow, what a great story.
- Nostradamus 'Bull' Shannon: I had a pen pal once, but we had to stop writing.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: How come?
- Nostradamus 'Bull' Shannon: He couldn't find the time once he became Vice President.
- Rosalind 'Roz' Russell: [about her reluctance to meet her pen pal] When I wrote to him, some of the things I said about myself may have been... slightly embellished.
- Lisette Hocheiser: Such as?
- Rosalind 'Roz' Russell: I'm a classical music buff.
- Lisette Hocheiser: That's easy. If he mentions Mozart, just say, "love that third movement."
- Rosalind 'Roz' Russell: I also told him I was a figure skater.
- Lisette Hocheiser: You can skate.
- Rosalind 'Roz' Russell: With Holiday On Ice?
- Lisette Hocheiser: Anything else?
- Rosalind 'Roz' Russell: Oh, yeah... one last thing: I'm five foot two in a size three.
- Lisette Hocheiser: Come on, I'll drive you home.
- Mac Robinson: Well I think you are going to be very impressed with this commercial. With my artistic eye and brilliant execution, I am Confident that this spot is going to put Christine Sullivan on everybody's lips.
- Christine Sullivan, Judge Harry T. Stone, Mac Robinson, Nostradamus 'Bull' Shannon: [Everyone turns suddenly to Dan, who is about to speak up] Don't DAN! DON'T!
- [Dan makes a sad pouty face and walks away]
- Dan Fielding: [Walking sadly into Harry's office] Hey H, do you want to go to dinner with me? My stewardess can't get back from Chicago, she's got a layover. Which means that I won't.