- Judge Harry T. Stone: Why is it so cold?
- Art Fensterman: Well Sir, on earth's trip around the sun, the northern hemisphere
- [Harry Stands up and puts a computer mouse in Art's mouth, shutting him up]
- Art Fensterman: Art! What I'm asking is, is it possible to take the chill off the air in here?
- [Then he removes the mouse from Art's mouth]
- Art Fensterman: [Unfazed] Well, I suppose I could go bang Bertha.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: [With a puzzled look] Excuse me.
- Art Fensterman: Bertha, the furnance. You bang her in just the right spot and she puts out some pretty good heat.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: [With a mischievous smile] Okay, Art... but be gentle with her, uh?
- Art Fensterman: [Smiling back with understanding at the joke, he nods] A tap and a rap it is Sir.
- Dan Fielding: [Talking in code, as to not to desillusion the young child about Santa] Well, during his lunch break, at the department store, Santa Claus here had the urge to...
- [looking at the defendant]
- Dan Fielding: um, put something in her stocking.
- Christine Sullivan: [Going along with the story] He employed my client
- [Looking toward Mandy]
- Christine Sullivan: to be
- [then looking down at little Eric and back at Harry]
- Christine Sullivan: Santa's Helper.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Right,
- [With an Ah-ha look]
- Judge Harry T. Stone: So this fellow
- [Looking at Lorenzo]
- Judge Harry T. Stone: is...
- Lorenzo Amador: [With a grin] I'm the elf that handles the money.
- Dan Fielding: Anyway, after the
- [looking down at Eric]
- Dan Fielding: umm... ?
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Gift Exchange?
- Dan Fielding: Okay
- [taking the word]
- Dan Fielding: Santa Forgot to... leave anything under her tree.
- [Harry nods with an Oh of understanding grin]
- Dan Fielding: So later the dynamic duo confronted Santa at his workshop.
- Mrs. Stapleton: My boy heard Santa use the most vile gutteral words imaginable.
- Christine Sullivan: Wait! We're stuck in here for god-knows-how-long, and even though it's 150° in here right now, we stand a good chance of losing our precious body parts to frostbite?
- Judge Harry T. Stone: [picks up suggestive-looking gavel cozy] Not me!
- [Leaves courtroom]
- Santa: All right, now if this works, this whole train track becomes a giant heating element.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Where did you learn all this fancy wiring stuff?
- Santa: Blowing safes.
- [tries the switch several times]
- Santa: Damn it!
- Judge Harry T. Stone: What's wrong?
- Santa: Ah, the whole system shorted out.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: What do we do?
- Santa: I need a good conductor. Anybody here got a piece of gold?
- [All eyes turn to Lorenzo]
- Lorenzo Amador: Ah, no, no, no, no way!
- Dan Fielding: I will meet you at the plane.
- [Nicole looks at him blankly]
- Dan Fielding: That's the big thing with the wings.
- [he holds out his arms like wings]
- Nicole Petty: Oh Yeah!
- [She smiles finally with understanding]
- Nicole Petty: I remember.
- [She then leaves]
- Dan Fielding: [Everyone watches her go] What do you think of d'hat body man?
- [Using a Jamaican accent]
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Seems to keep her head from floating away.
- [Dryly]
- Nicole Petty: Hey Dan, did you burn my assembly instructions?
- Dan Fielding: What's the big deal, you stick tab A into slot B, who can't do that?
- Mandy Davis: You'd be surprise.