- Judge Harry T. Stone: Bob and June Wheeler, ya Yugoslavian recidivist knuckleheads, you! What the heck brings you by?
- Mac Robinson: They were picked up on a 509-B violation, sir.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: 509?
- Mac Robinson: Uh-huh.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: B?
- Mac Robinson: Yep.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: I don't believe I'm familiar with that one.
- Dan Fielding: Well, sir, it's not used in Manhattan very much. It refers to the illegal detonation of... poultry.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Excuse me, but I didn't think that chickens were among our more widely-used explosives.
- Mac Robinson: Dan, you know, I could call a friend of mine at the committee office to see if you made the list.
- Dan Fielding: That would be great!
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Mac, is there anyplace on this planet where you don't have a friend working?
- [a Samoan man in grass skirts runs in]
- Man: Here's that file you wanted, Mac.
- [He runs out. Everyone turns to Mac]
- Mac Robinson: Manu Hanrulima.
- [smiles]
- Mac Robinson: "Biff" to his friends.
- Christine Sullivan: Sir, the Wheelers were merely trying their hand at egg-farming. They ran into a bit of difficulty with a propane-powered incubator.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: So all the would-be chicks are now...
- Dan Fielding: Quiche, yes sir.
- Dan Fielding: Wait a minute, you're carrying 250,000 bucks around in a coffee can?
- Bob Wheeler: No, just half of it. June's hiding the rest in her brassiere.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Looks like June is busting out all over.
- [Dan is mistakenly sent a singing telegram congratulating him on being nominated to be a judge; he loses control and starts throttling the messenger]
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Dan, Dan! Murdering this man is not the answer... even though we would all really enjoy watching you do it. Dan... you-must-let-Timmy-live!
- Christine Sullivan: He's been such a downer since Granny died.
- Bob Wheeler: [Christine, Harry and Dan all look at each other with looks of who's going to ask] Oh, What the hell, someone's got to ask. How did she die?
- Judge Harry T. Stone: She passed away in her sleep.
- [Everyone looks at him stunned at this simple answer]
- Judge Harry T. Stone: [Having come to expect a more elaborate story from this unlucky couple] That's it? She was just sleeping peacefully?
- Bob Wheeler: Yes... .. On the railroad track.
- [Everyone reacts with an Ah-ha]
- June Wheeler: The rail company was very sympathtic though. Didn't even charge her for the ride.
- Christine Sullivan: Yes.
- [She nods sympathetically]
- Christine Sullivan: Tragedy does bring out the best in people.